into atoms

I’d scream until
The cosmos crashed
Just so you could
Hear the words behind
The words. Covered by
A deluge of insecurity
My voice reverberating
Against the cold and
Careless ground sounding
Stupid as the syllables
Fall together in a string
Of hopeless stammering.

I would bleed myself
To dust if I thought it
Would do any good. My
Passion spilling out
In spurts of red
Replaced with zinfandel
And wishes made on dirty
Stars. You do not see,
You do not see, because
I will it so. I am made
Of granite full of cracks
And cactus needles.

I fear, god knows, I fear
I cannot be what needs to be
to make your voice stop hurting.
I let go, I did the valiant thing and,
It’s like a nail inside my heart.