An Incident on the Line
By Silver Spun Sand
Wed, 12 Aug 2009
- 5989 reads
22 comments
No one saw him fall –
the man who left behind
a battered, leather suitcase
crammed full of mountains
and forests,
pyramids, deserts, waterfalls
and canyons;
bursting at the seams
with windswept beaches and castles
made from sand. Bikini-clad
girls and brown-skinned boys
in Y-fronts. And promises
made in the heat of the moment;
voices, preserved in brine.
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Comments
This is gorgeous,
This is gorgeous, Sliver.
Your choice of line breaks is fantastic.
A beautiful snapshot of a life - perfectly preserved.
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Top notch as usual Tina;
Permalink Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Top notch as usual Tina; very good indeed!
Chris XX
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Silver-spun-sand nice to
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
Silver-spun-sand
nice to hear from you welcome back
very good and suit case is
like a make- up never know
what is in it!
Iv'e just had sausages in Brine!
Love all of it.
Beeme and I been busy!
and me here! but not quite finished yet.
Iv'e learnt to do smiley sign
through you thanks and done profile again
so improving my name is in Forum I didn't do
pleased wonder? who.
julie xx (:-
I can do smiley's thanks you taught me
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Mouth-watering imagery Tina!
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Mouth-watering imagery Tina! It's nice to see a shorter poem from you but it is still crammed full of the usual Tina essence ;) Especially love:
'a battered, leather suitcase
crammed full of mountains
and forests,
pyramids, deserts, waterfalls
and canyons;'
and the last line rounds it all off perfectly!
Magic xxx
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Silver-spun-sand great
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
Silver-spun-sand
great imagageries here
Congrat: *on the Cherry
I agree
a battered leather suitcase
crammed full! of mountains
and forests.
pyramids,deserts,waterfalls
and canyons
jule xx (:-.
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Silver-spun-sand Hubby just
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
Silver-spun-sand
Hubby just downloaded my 1st magazine
Issue 15
Wow what a cracker you are but
I see a likeness mind me saying
in "Eva Petrelengo" fortune teller
I ahve not had time yet raed all stories on here, just brief it all.
They are all amazing work
Must get busy and read later give me ideas
Beeme is my helper twinning to-gether at
moment.
julie xx Cavalcader (-:
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This response to this weeks
This response to this weeks IP is brilliant Tina, I've been scratching my head all week but nothing has materialised so far. Well done. Val x
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Sorry Tina, looks like I'm
Sorry Tina, looks like I'm late on commenting.
I just read your poem and I think it is suberb!
I love it all, you description is so simple and yet you produce such great imagery. One of your best poems I think.
I loved this line;
'And promises
made in the heat of the moment;
voices, preserved in brine.'
-it is also the perfect finish, as Magic said :-)
Beeme xx
k.
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It really is an amazing
It really is an amazing poem, tina :-) I forgot to congratulate you on the cherry, well done!
Beeme xx
k.
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new Silver-spun-sand I think
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Silver-spun-sand
I think I said Cogratulations
on the cherry.
the computer up the wall last night
my name now gone of the Forum
and every comment I did.one said
you not authorised to comment!
and all said and mine
login or register
so have ok.
mine calls me worse!
but I went fete had goes
things guess name of Bunny
well I love Honey hence
Honey Bunny I won him.
needs a clean.
julie cavalcader xx (:-
still got read all mag:
and congats:all and Editors brill:
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I wish i could write like
Permalink Submitted by andrew-evans on
I wish i could write like this, i try my absoulute best to get power and emotion behind my peices and so often fail. You always seem to get eveything you want to say in and i must congratulate you on that. This is another amazing piece and look forward to reading more of your work
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perfect capture, lot
Permalink Submitted by littleditty on
perfect capture, lot contained in that case -also linked to a recent news story on the telly? Really liked this poem Tina :)x
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