'Murica
By Luigi92
- 649 reads
America the beautiful
home of the brave
land ofthe greed.
We kill to save life
abort the dirty seeds.
Life is sacred when
times are war
Sign God's name to the file
Our perfect excuse to save more.
The more they watch you snort coke
the prettier you'll be.
But strip away those eyes
a faggot inmate they'll see.
We believe in the media
even when we see their lies.
Anything to see what we want
Save a life on our own time.
I pledge alliegence
to the flag
under which the Japanese were thrown.
To which crosses were destroyed
And soldiers salute
when children are eaten by drones.
Where we grow jealous of God
kill him
and steal his cross.
Kindness is our theatrical prop
drugs are our blood.
Selfish selflessness
The sicker the weak
the more you can help them.
Amerecovery
A weather worn mural on your wall
counting sheep as the rain falls.
If only the American Spirit
was as real as the God you believe
Then maybe this war for oil
was worth the hands you bleed.
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Comments
Hi Chris, there's a real
Hi Chris, there's a real passion behind this about the ills of American society. The rhyme scheme is inconsistent though - it distracted me. You switch between end rhyme and slant rhymes. I was trying to squeeze end words too quickly in to stanza 1, 3, 5 and 6 rather than focusing on the subject. If you spent some time on this, it would flow more smoothly and the power of your words would have more impact.
A typo: allegiance
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It's much smoother. Really
It's much smoother. Really like this piece, Luigi.
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