Goodbye
By Naomi Abdull
- 1586 reads
The echoe of tears, laughter and raised voices fill every room. The living room, inscribed with her Dad’s botched DIY, her bedroom floor from which Peter’s blood cries out where he fell as a child, even the bathroom, where a pink line sealed her fate.
The stairs moan their last, beneath her. Her eyes read between the smiles in the family portrait. The smell of her Mum’s burnt dinners cause blurry vision.
The doormat has never failed in its mission to make her stumble and causes a smile, invaded by bitter tears. Her silent goodbye reverberates off the walls.
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Comments
I definitely agree with the
I definitely agree with the suggestion to reformat as poetry. Good call.
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I spotted this very good
I spotted this very good piece of writing simply through following Bbanyard.
Works well simply as it is and with Ben's suggest word corrections.
Keep it, do not reformat. The poem can also cover the same theme. Or tell what happened next, or what happened just before Elsie
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