Pas de Deux for Violin and Sky

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Fri, 08 May 2015
  • 5430 reads
10 comments
 
Absence is the highest
form of presence,
didn’t someone say?
 
Last night I dreamed 
we two were in a field;
black and tan Bessie
 
running
on ahead...ears trailing  
dainty, yellow Goat's Beards, like
twin feather dusters, dipped
in liquid gold.
 
The moon rose – a sovereign
in the blackened palm
of a greedy sky to a symphony
of zealous crickets, 
 
and a moth
feathered my cheek, or 
may have been the slight
stutter of your lashes 
as you knelt to bless me
with a kiss.
 
I reached for your hand
remembering how you held me...
you – the bow to my strings,
but only silence ricocheted back
from the furthest dark star.
 
Last night I dreamed
you were still here, next to me,
but when I woke, just 
 
a few scattered hairpins
and a precious dint on the pillow
and I realise
 
I must let you go
even though you go on telling me,
so terribly beautifully, things
I don’t want to know.
Certificate PG
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Spiritual
Love

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

I'm reading this in the early hours because I woke and couldn't sleep, and it's got me in bits. Especially -

'and a moth
feathered my cheek, or 
may have been the slight
stutter of your eyelids 
as you knelt to bless me
with a kiss.'

and -
'Last night I dreamed
you were still here, next to me,
but when I woke, just 
 
a few scattered hairpins
and a precious dint on the pillow ...' and through to the beautiful but cruel end. It's very musical, as the title suggests, and so moving.

Could I suggest - lashes, instead of 'eyelids'. Excuse me if you think I'm wrong - it is the middle of the night:)

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Gosh, Bee...if I could be as inspired as yourself, in the middle of the night, I would be a very lucky person.  Have edited accordingly.  A brilliant suggestion, that stanza was crying out for.  Thank you for being attuned to it.smiley

Tina

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

Some stunning images.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Am heartened you thought so, Vera.  smiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Gorgeous, wonderful night visitation.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Philip.  Appreciated.smiley

Tina

 

Submitted by EB on

Packed with vivid imagery, longing and disappointment.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Good of you to take the trouble to let me know you got so much from this, EB.  Many thanks.

Tina

 

Submitted by LeadenPen on

The tone suddenly shifts from a beautiful love song into a darkend tune. It makes me think of mast experiences myself. Would elaborating on the last stanza help make the ending less sudden? I love the tone of the piece, it was constant and well worded, however, towards the end I notice the complete turn around.

Just a sugestion :)

Don't let others leaden words drag you down. Craft them into a pen and write.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

LP...much food for thought, and I thank you for sharing your ideas and suggestions. I shall mull them all over in the fullness of time. 

Tinasmiley