U Conversation Topical

Conversation Topical

You awright mate?
You'll never guess what
Never guess what, mate?
I lost the lot
I was talking to this bloke
He says to me
It's got the winner's mark
Sure-fire certainty
Well apart from that
How you doing, old mate?
Can't complain,
Cash in hand
The welfare state
I says to this girl at the DSS
I wanna work you know
She seemed to understand; bless
Now I got 6 interviews and I'm in stress

Dole support is bollocks I had to tell
I gotta do it proper cash as well
She says it's illegal
She can go to 'ell
Well mine's a pint, old mate
Seeing as you didn't ask
A lager shandy top
Let's you me have a larf
You see the results
When they came in?
Chelsea beaten 6 to nil
I had to grin
This bloke he says to me
So I says to 'im
I couldn't advertise it
Took it on the chin
I says to this bloke
And 'e says to me
But I think he'd 'ad a skin-full
You follow, see?
Out of me 'ed
The other night
Morning got a tax bill
What a fright!
Put it in the bin
With the other bills
Fancy another lager?
I'll 'ave a Pils

How's your work then,
Well I really mustn't grumble
Lots of rich pickings
I'm careful not to stumble
Need a new computer?
Old one took a tumble
When I 'it the missus
In a little rumble
Just got a leather sofa
For five thousand pounds
It's a bit of top class gear
The kids are out of bounds
Gotta buy some school shoes
One's that fit nice
But ?33 quid a pair?
Not at that price!
Seen me new mobile?
Lovely piece of gear
Lots of visual features
How it's used aint clear
I think it's about time
For another beer
She's a nice looking girl
The one with lovely jugs
For a laugh I'll buy her
Two big mugs
Do ya think she'll get it?
She may shrug
I think I'll forget it
She far too smug.
Seen the new BM?
It's a lovely set of wheels
Put it in the stable love
That car appeals
Talking 'bout one to Bernie
Yeah, Bernie who steals

What about those missing girls?
Paedophiles, hang 'em
What about that ponce with curls?
Queerboys, hang 'em
And what about that singing merle?
Blackbird, can 'im

How long you been sitting here?
Just time to sink 6 beers
I said to the missus
This'll all end in tears
But in the meantime
What's your poison?
Lager?Cheers!