a seven week wait

a seven week wait
four lives i waste
it happens all the time
when i'm waiting for the bus
hospitals make me fear
they make the world turn black
white clothes and such
white and squealing
fancy words for high brow shit
violence i pretend
anger at be-littling
a two finger trigger
pulling back i wait
releasing my loud
to peaceful calm
banging heart
with cotton drum
fingers clenched
but nothing lost
something gained
waiting for response
i prepare
they hold up muffled arms
to deal with subtle knife
and cry despair
cold and clinical
words with meaning
stabbing home
an answer
creating a unity
making me feel
of my lost souls
wanting and lonely
without family
without family
i have in anger struck
i will suffer much