Debbie Does Britney

She's there on the swings
waiting for her&;#8230;
this time, the shit was gonna hit the fan

when the assembly lets out
and all the screaming fans
mob the tour bus
she'll be lurking in the playground
she's had enough
of this disgrace

"Your ass is MINE, Britney!"

No more of this
"I'm squeaky clean
with tiny pores
and non-existent acne"
simultaneously juxtaposed
with skin tight promises
come-hither cleavage&;#8230;
you think you're electric
youth
gone wild
you're a joke
throw in the towel I just don't think you're "strong enough"

your time is up
pop tart
I'm calling your bluff
you will never be
America's sweetheart.
I captured that title
while you were just a baby-
before you even knew how
to talk,
I was singing to sold out crowds,
signing album covers before you could write
dancing choreographed routines
before you could walk
you are treading on MY turf,
sunshine
this shit's gotta come to a screeching halt.

You are officially de-throned.
surrender the "teen dream" crown-
pack it in, cover those breasts,
button up that blouse
have you no decency?

I fought tooth and nail for the respect
the credibility
the status that you seem to take for granted
can't you see??
all this you have because of me!
I broke down the walls whose posters promoted boy bands
I tore down the bulletin boards that said
you should be a nurse or a teacher
or a mommy

have you no homage to those who went before you?
do you not see the bridge of stretched out casualties
on the ground that forms the female flesh
bridge to stardom
that you walk upon?
have you no feeling?

"I hold the patent on this image, Honey!"

quietly, the swing cut thru the air
swoosh
"She must pay!"
swish
"Who did she think she was?"
I monopolized this market twenty years ago
you have not paid your tariff, sister.

you have not bowed down
to the gods of sugar pop
nor have you ran in midnight circles
dancing disco
with the fluff fairies.
You didn't promise your firstborn child
to the image-makers
who sit upon your shoulder
and wont shake off no matter how you try to lose
them-they have become a part of you

how dare you try to skip
those all-important steps
in making the princess of pop
packaged like bubble gum
tight in its wrapper
pink in its box
like a Barbie-
candy everybody wants.

you have not paid your dues
britney
Today-
the piper's come to collect.