ambrosia & solidago

at present i’m being held
hostage
by the likes of ragweed &
goldenrod---
yes, right now my whole VW-bus of a
head
is being dealt with in a very
hostile
manner,
by these two worthless plants
which at a certain time of the year
in certain parts of the world,
get to wreak havoc upon all who
stroll outside
downwind of their allergenic weapons
of mass sniffling,
mass itching inside the ears where you
can’t get at (you stick your fingers in to
ITCH ITCH ITCH!---but you always
come up emptyhanded),
& worse yet---
the mass itching in the back of the throat
(up top, where you try and roll your own
tongue back to itch it with the flexing
tongue muscle, but alas, nothing!).

and while my eyes water & itch as well---
i found out from a merciful pharmacist a few years
ago
that simply rubbing a bit of
hydrocortisone
right in the small of the eye socket
where the eye meets the tip-top of the
nose…well,
once you perform this little task,
relief will be yours, my friend.

in fact, that’s pretty much how that wonderful
peacemaker,
stopped the war that was being wielded in my eyes
(that never-ending struggle between the rebel eyes
trying to wrestle freedom to breath & stop tearing & itching,
from the clutches of the oppressive dominant hand’s
itching knuckle---which attacked & attacked so
ferociously).

and as i sit her with my nose dripping over
my keyboard
waiting for that claritin to kick in,
i think about those people that are allergic to
yellow #5
&
red #40,
which both exist in food, drugs & cosmetics---
that means everything from
cotton candy to soft drinks to soaps, shampoos,
crayons, antacids, & even prescription drugs
are off limits to these
folk.

and as an Atheist, i have to go one step
further in my brainstorming
because i have to wonder about those
staunch believers in god or whatever
creative deity(ies) that they pin their
hopes
on---
because if you are allergic to something that
naturally occurs on this earth,
much like when bill hicks did his bit about
marijuana being a naturally occurring drug---
well,
doesn’t that mean that your
god
made a mistake?

hicks didn’t live long enough himself to take
that joke one step
further
to discuss the allergies that people have to
dyes
that we humans created
ourselves.

it is as if zarathustra himself came down from the
hills
and stepped into the labs
for the benefit
of all the little kiddies breaking out in
hives
& itching themselves
bloody.