Diary of a Dead Man (1)

Diary of a Dead Man

By, Ashton Macaulay

     “Tonight ladies and gentlemen, I propose to you something of a fantastic nature. For years we have wondered what happens after death and I have at last obtained conclusive proof! Death is not the end; there is a world beyond this one where we can live on if we so choose. Ghosts are no longer a thing of mythology and fear, they are a reality and one that we must learn to accept, study, and potentially live in harmony with. Today I want to take you on a journey into the supernatural. Allow me to enlighten you to this new reality.

     “As we are all no doubt aware the effects of quantum observers have long been debated. Can the mere act of observing an object or action change the outcome or meaning of said action? More simply: Does standing next to a falling tree affect the sound it makes? The spirit world operates on this principle. The recently deceased feed off of our rumors and fear like fuel. Without it they would not be able to exist.”

     It’s always interesting listening to the sound of a prominent scientific career grinding to a halt. I feel for him, I mean I really do, but that’s the way it is. He was pretty close to right actually. The speech continued for another twenty minutes before he was booed off stage. I’ll spare you the details. He was shot dead in the street 2 days later for proposing ideas that went against the grain. Martyrs for honesty, found all too scarcely, gone all too soon. At least he got to find out he was right when he died. Most radical scientists don’t even get that. I wonder if his observation of the bullet changed its trajectory… Nah, that’s just physics.

1. Who Am I?

I don’t really know how to start this, so I guess I’ll begin with who I am. My name is Brian, I’m 21 years dead and I work at a hotel in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I guess work is a strong term, haunt would be more accurate, but it sort of diminishes the effort that goes into the job. The man who was talking earlier used to be a well-renowned scientist until he took the plunge into paranormal science. It’s a noble endeavor, but when matters of the paranormal are discussed, people seem to come up with a terrible case of head-in-sand.

The hotel itself is old, built in the late 1800s to accommodate the sudden population boom. Oddly enough it’s the ghosts from that era that seem to interest people the most, but there’s hardly any of them left. Even ghosts get bored, end up finishing their ‘unfinished business’ and get on with their afterlife. Waiting around in limbo for someone to notice you can be quite tiring.  

I’m not sure who will end up reading this, my therapist is the one telling me to write. He says it will help me cope with the sadness. Getting sandwiched between a car steering wheel and the back bumper of a semi-truck is a hard thing to forget I guess. At least we have a psychologist, nice guy really. Blew his brains out in the hotel lobby a few years back. He said that the field was dying because of pop culture and he couldn’t stand to be part of a useless corporate mechanism. It was quite the spectacular display of insanity. Lucky for us he wasn’t ready for the end and he now holds sessions to help us cope with our own passing. I never thought I’d spend the afterlife journaling, but here I am.

What exactly do I do? Well I’m one of about a few hundred ghosts that currently inhabit the Hotel Chambroux. Yes, I said inhabit, we all still live here, if you’ll pardon the use of the term. If human beings had a power to switch their view between planes they’d be astonished about all the shit that goes on right in front of their noses. Me? Well, being dead takes away that luxury. I see both worlds at all times, which leads to a rather comical cavalcade of the dead and the living passing right through each other.

That bullshit all the history channel talks about, chills and whatnot from ghosts being present? If it were true our climate would better resemble the last ice age. We may not outnumber the living, but there’s a fair amount of us still around, and for the most part we just go about our daily routine. That is, unless we’re working. That’s where the scientist who took a bullet for his ideas come in.

It’s not exactly the quantum observer, but he was close. Essentially if we want to continue existing in between worlds we need power. It’s not like a battery or something that you can recharge, but more of a general belief system. Every time an article comes out debunking another show like ghost hunters (total crap by the way, but all publicity is good publicity) we have to lower our population cap. That means a few souls that either have to expedite themselves through the process of coming to terms, or face non-existence.

Our image and mythos is maintained through hauntings, strange phenomena and routine poltergeists. Possessions often get attributed to us, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Most of us aren’t even vaguely satisfied by the power of Christ, much less compelled by it. That work is left to those on the other plane, the more final plane. You know? Demons and such. I don’t much like them, but for the most part they stay out of our business and we keep our heads down.

Hotels are one of the best places for our work. There’s a new group of patrons every day, and the proportion of the living per square inch is ideal. Old hotels are better, and the more sordid the history the better. New Orleans is great for that. We’ve got a high religious population, the highest belief in voodoo in North America, and a good deal of ghost stories. Mash it all together and you’ve got a high percentage of people willing to have experiences with the occult, and a population of ghosts that is ever increasing…