The Healing Moon

By adbates

Fri, 05 Apr 2013
  • 441 reads
2 comments
 

The city sings its sorrowful melody
It seems only I can hear.
I look around, through all the crowds
And I see no weaping or tears.
How can it be?
Do they not hear that melancholy sigh?
But when night falls, the moon seems to heal
That terrible feel.
As through the dark hides the paint and shame
This city has been decorated with.
Or perhaps the moon simply heals the pain
As God is said to clear His children's sins.
Whatever it may be, it doesn't last long and no one notices
For they sleep when the city is whole.
Such ignorance in a world that needs to grow.
They are miserable and have no idea, but one day they will discover truth.
I will be sitting by, still watching when they do.
I, however, will be watching the moon

Certificate U
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by scratch on
This also is good and the enjambment better than "A Loan". An interesting take on city life, well done. I was a little off-put with some of the odd syntax that seemed aged or even anachronistic e.g. "What fools, are they" and "They are miserable and know it not," Why not simply say "What fools they are" or if you really want to keep it as it is include the question mark. And why not simply say "They are miserable and do not know it"? Anyway, it's a fine effort which I applaud and please remember these are only my subjective opinions.

 

Submitted by adbates on
That actually makes a lot of sense and I've never really noticed it before when I write. Thanks scratch!