I Belonged To You

I cannot let go.
Your tossing burn courses through habituated veins.
It doesn't hurt as much as it
used to be one.
Convinced I had cleared your traumatizing
hurdle my heart, skip the love
part of my story.
You are my people.
The breath I breathe, the crinkled laugh lines,
fault lines surround the windows to my soul.
I live you, love you, serve you.
Wear your stains with a pulsing pride
beneath the hand now constantly on guard.
I belong to you.
It still hurts, aches, throbs, bursts forth in the willow kitchen,
face in dirty hands, gulping still air in a stunned silence.
Abandoned.
Because I crossed the golden gate for you,
shouted your name to the Kezar lights,
painted my face with you, ribbons of you tangled in my blonde.
Fought for you.
And you deserted me.
I belonged to you. We belong to you.
Continue to turn your face
and you'll lose someone.
Not me,
I am still here,
Still hurting,
Still belonging.