Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
I want to tell my secrets you are the only one I know that will keep them.

My name is Ellie and my life has not been easy since I was five my parents have fought more than a person on the streets fights to survive and me the one in the middle I have my resentments. I got into a special arts school this summer and my Dad said I could go since it would give him and my Mother some time to work some things out. After I turned fourteen my parents split and well my Mother really didn’t get the memo and doesn’t remember some of the things she has done to us. Then there is me the girl who is to follow in her sisters perfect footprints and I hate it she has always been better at everything than I have except for writing that is my talent the only thing I have to my name. When I write in my diary I don’t like to put dates because then you actually might have to think back to that day and then regret what you said. I am now seventeen and well everything just seems to keep going down hill for me.
Well it started when I was fourteen and I moved to Walsh Colorado and I had no one to help my creative genius, I had once gone to a school of at least 300 plus students just in my grade and everything was good there I had a best friend and she was really cool but then in Walsh thing really went downhill for me and nothing seemed right.
Well for now this where I will leave you.
“Is it like this is it always the same when a heartache begins is it like this”
Utada Hikaru
Dear Diary………
I want to tell you my secrets you are the only one I know that will keep them.
My new school is beautiful and everything I was hoping for peace and very small well the school is huge but not many students are allowed to attend. I looked at the building I guessed was Victorian in style and the most lovely shade of off white. The gate is black and barred similar to a jail I wonder if the are not possibly locking us up in here because we are in need of some psychological help I mean it is possible isn’t it. Out front are some of the greenest trees and grass I have ever seen the school is on a cliff surrounded by water toward the back it is a gorgeous view. Everyone here is really talented at what they do I wonder why I was accepted. I went to my first class and it wasn’t much of a class it was more of an independent study and it was very cool no one spoke to me I tried to blend in and I succeeded .
Lunch was the same very separated though looked like everyone has there place here like most of them are rich but different classes of rich and then there is me the one that got a scholarship. I have always been the shy type I don’t know how to approach people so I don’t. Then some of the girls at the first table started talking about me. I ignored them like always I have always been talked about or looked down on because of my status or whatever else they might think is wrong with me. I know there is a lot of things that are wrong with me but I don’t need them to point out things that aren’t.
My next class was an actual class it was very different though, I don’t like to speak in front of people and I can’t explain why to you it isn’t that I am scared of them it is I’m afraid to hurt them with whatever harsh words may come from my mouth. There is this guy I have seen him a few times and I take it he is very important as in he is very rich and possibly he rules the school in popularity and he has two other guys that are also very important that are in his little social group. They looked me up and down and then I heard one of them ask him “What do you think of her?’ “Amiable but not pretty enough to tempt my fancy” he said as if it was normal for him to speak like that.
I didn’t let it bother me but there is something very strange about some of the students here well not spooky strange or terrifying strange just strange. The next class was just another self teach and I decided to write a poem.
I feel them the stares of people
Their eyes bore into my back for no apparent reason
I wonder do I look funny do I act differently
No I have come to the conclusion they like to pick victims
But I shall not be there prey
For the only one I am prey to is myself.
That poem is ever so true the only one that we are truly prey to is our own mind, sometimes I wonder if mine is broken. I was sitting on the bench listening to Eminem Sing for the Moment I love that song and my cell rang.
Finally someone who is sane in some ways well my ways which probably makes them insane but anyway. My friend Xandra she doesn’t live far away from here and well we are one in the same we know everything about each other I filled her in on everything that has happened so far and she laughed and then said “That is weird” so maybe I am not crazy on that aspect or maybe we are both crazy which is very logical and a great possibility at the moment that is.

“The possibility of insanity is no possibility it is a lifestyle”
Unknown

Dear Diary,
Well I have been here for three weeks now I know it is strange huh I don’t necessarily think of this as a diary anymore now it is more of a highschoolers memoirs. Hardly anyone talks to me it is like I have some strange disease the only one that talks to me is that guy the one with popularity and so forth he talks to me on occasion generally to be cocky and make fun of me and I think I may have reached my limit of this school already.
I just sit around all day everyone always calls me the girl with no friends but I have friends but they don’t go here and I don’t dress up because I don’t want to I don’t make myself look overly pretty just so people will talk about me differently. I think making yourself look better for the benefit of someone else belittles yourself because if you want to look good that is up to you , not the other person don’t let them dictate who you can be.
Okay now I am done ranting other than that I don’t have much to report I mean people are always talking about me negatively and it is annoying but I don’t let it bother me not in the least if they feel like belittling me to make themselves feel better around their friends then I will let them go right ahead.
In my last class I found out there are different classes of rich and that the rich don’t give a rat’s ass about anyone else they only give to charitie’s to make themselves feel better which is something we all do I guess in some form but it just seems wrong to have that much money and not use it properly but I always say put yourself in their shoes.
“Hey Quiet girl” Jerel said he is the boy with major popularity
“Can I help you Jerel?”
“No not really I just thought you might like to talk to someone at least once a day you know do some social bonding” he said with a smile I couldn’t hepl but smile myself he is really good looking not in the normal way well in the normal way but I had never seen someone as good looking as him in my life. He has Golden blonde hair that fits his face just perfectly and his eyes are a shade of sage that match his hair just right when he is in the sunlight and his skin is flawless pure white, He is also very slim and I would guess around 6”5.
“Really is it the opposite way and you want to talk to someone that actually has a brain that they know how to use.” I said
“Wow is that an attitude I guess you do learn something new everyday huh amazing” he said walking away with a laugh
“Hey Jerel” Ami walked up to him and smiled her unforgettably brilliant smile. Ami is like him very Beautiful in an almost scary way. He smiled back down at her she is very vile though pretty but vicious and he himself is much like her but I sometimes wonder if it is not a means of protection.
“Why were you talking to Commoner girl?” she asked him
“Oh I just thought she might like to have at least one conversation daily you know give her a sense of some sort of belonging” he said and she just laughed and looked back at me and gave me a smile
I myself am not ugly I assume since I have had many offers from boys over my very few years but I am not that obvious kind of beauty you have to work to see mine which means I would have to actually show that I have a figure and brush my hair but that is a waste of time.
“You know I kinda feel sorry for her and that is an emotion I never knew I had I mean she has no friends no one to talk to and she has been here for four weeks now about a month and only one person talks to her but I guess that is expected seeing how she doesn’t try to fit in either.”
She is getting really annoying she is always bringing me down now in my philosophy violence is never the answer who am I kidding for me violence has always been the answer because where I lived it was the only alternative. I trained at a dojo for four years and I got really good at fighting especially with a sword and I learned how to literally fly and that it is in my blood it is the technique of a ninja and I have mastered it as did my father but I mastered it long before he had when he was my age then again fighting used to be all I had.
“Hey Girl come here” she said to me motioning me over I didn’t answer I just went over to where her Jerel and a lot of other student were standing.
“Why are you so quiet you never say a word except occasionally to Jerel which is understandable since well he is himself.” Ami said I still didn’t answer
“You are a friendless attention wanting pain in this schools ass no one wants you here I mean if you want her here raise your hand” she said no one did and then they all laughed
Then to my surprise a car I recognized pulled into the gates and headed our way.
“Are you paying attention” she asked me “Yes I know it is a nice car wouldn’t you like a car like that make friends with people here and you have a very good chance of that.” she said
“Are you deaf don’t make Ami mad she will kick your ass girl I would recommend answering her” another girl said to me I just stood quietly. The car had disappeared into the parking lot.
“No Kaori I won’t kick her ass I may just maim her a little” she said
“Wow that must have been a big word for you” I said everyone looked stunned “What surprised I am not a preppy little goody tissues you guys have never been to the hood let alone outside of a mall but I have grown up around that kind of shit my entire life and I would recommend not trying anything on me cuz you will land flat on your back or worse” I said a little surprised at myself

“Why you have to go and make things so Complicated”
Avril