JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND

She doesn't love you seeing your mates;
Within minutes she'll feel neglected.
Don't mention your ex; any of them,
Or she'll make you wish you never did.

Don't compare her breasts to another's,
Unless you say hers are the nicest.
Never say you think pretty women,
Are even slightly hard to resist.

Don't say in a criticising way,
You've known nothing like her bedroom skills.
Try not to let your eyeballs pop out,
For another's short skirt and high heels.

Give her no reason to be jealous.
Compliment nothing unless it's hers,
Or you may find your ties all tied up,
And asses removed from your trousers.

13 October 2005