saturnius

By alphadog1

Sat, 25 Jan 2014
  • 730 reads
2 comments
 

Saturnius

Deep in the shady sadness of a vale,
Far sunken from the healthy breath of morn,
Far from the fiery noon, and eve's one star,
Sat gray-hair'd Saturn, quiet as a stone,
Still as the silence round about his lair.
J. Keats (31 October 1795 – 23 February 1821) Hyperion. (1819) 

First--- there is the untamed and timeless vast void, 
A night ocean: forever soundless-- forever voiceless,
That is warped by whorls that bury and bear it down;
Or in a fury seethes away by burning light that is so bright
To keep those weak constructed laws we make at bay. 
This is his black palace! This is his huge stabbed throne!
Where screaming Saturnus and the shining stars do live. 
This--- he calls his home. 

From this vast throne a weaved ring is carved by atoms and vapour
From his madman eyes that scream whilehis mouth devours his sons
Sol Invictus stands sourly back to allow this, his wild shadow, honour.
And in the glorified sense of the malefic through force of inertia,
There grows the celebration of the were-wild and the scourged: 
A slow sure beauty in the celebration of this: the forever un living. 
And that through his truly vast and inspiring unsurpassed majesty 
The surety of egalitarianism stoutly sings. 

To many Saturnus is the beast: the monster of melancholic 
Through sacrifices that are made to the furies and the fates
That are devoured so deliciously by the now growing Chthonic
A symbol of omens and the phony proof of divine entropy .
While still others slowly slip off his dragging cleaving crown 
With presents and with family however far and misplaced
And on the birthday of this the known unconquerable sun 
A kingdom of Thorns is sown. 

Yet we are Saturnus kith and kin, we are fully Saturnius
We celebrate his seeds and the removal of hard weeds 
We see the scythe yet we hate to see it fully thrown, 
We are his servants and we bathe in this his wonder 
And amid this wild and weird and so savage a  night, 
Where breathing is so vast and so very, very tight
I take some time to contemplate your real delight.
On the sphere that’s yours and yours  alone. 

© adh 2013

Certificate 12
Poem
Surreal

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

eyes that scream whilehis mouth devours... space

 

This is his huge stabbed throne!
Where screaming Saturnus and the shining stars do live. 
This--- he calls his home... I like this, I think it sets the atmosphere for the piece. 

 

To read this I feel as though I need a man's voice a bass baritone, posh, voice. I need the voice of that geezer who played gandalf. It's a real fire-rouser of a piece and very hall-like, every line echoes.

 

Beautiful evocative piece. 

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on

Humble thanks. :) x
I have to say, whan I read my work aloud I always think of Jared Harris. He has this lovely dark cracked voice, which resonates so well.  He is also a brilliant actor. 
Saturnious  was a huge task; as it took all yesterday morning to research and most of the day to -sort of- get to this first position.
I was thinking about redrafting it and editing it later as the scans don't work that well in stanza 2  and 3.  But lets see.  I have my readings for my course, an essay to start  and a short story to get finished. 
I wish I could stay on one  job at one time. 
The title came to me yesterday morning. It (sort of) popped into my head and just hung there, like a buzzing fly that wouldn't bugger off.  So, as usual, I thought I better get something down, then It will leave me alone. However, in my research  (something I always do for any work now) I was surprised  to find so many interesting and strange connections to this planet, and of course the Roman god he was or is named after. The Greek's lovely deity Chronos. I love that name, so much, but its been used so many times, so dispite my dissapointment, after finding this out (I didn't know it before) I chose to stick with this title. I am indebted to Arthur Miller too.  So its not all my work.