Charming the Bigmist

It was 9am and all that could be heard at the county court is the hustle and bustle of people piling into the courtroom.  Many came from near and far to see what the case was.  Why?  Because Prince Charming had been arrested for marrying multiple women who were princesses without getting a divorce!  Yes that’s right he was a bigamist and had been facing trial for the past number of weeks for his wrong doing. 

He had married the three well known princesses Belle, Aurora and Cinderella from different lands and tales; and managed to fool them into thinking that he was a genuine guy and the man of their dreams.  All three princesses had given evidence against him and had turned up to the county court each time.  Mr Charming may have had it all but he wasn’t has switched on as he thought.  He thought that just because he was the most handsome, dashing and attractive man in all of the lands he could get away with it.

After everyone got seated they wait anxiously for the judge to come into the courtroom.  Moments later he walks in with his head held high, his nose pointing towards the ceiling and his black gown waving behind him like wings of an angel.  “All rise” boomed a mysterious voice before the onlooker’s sat down. 

The judge turned to his defendant standing in the witness box and asked him “Are you Mr Prince Charming?”

“Yes of course I am, I’ve told the court this a zillion times already!!” the prince replied in annoyance.

“May I remind you that you’re here charged with bigamy and if found guilty you could be sent to jail or transformed into a different species?”  “This is a crime that you have been charged with before; stated by three different witnesses Rapunzel, Snow White and her sister Rose Red; which lead you to be transformed into a beast; which Princess Belle did not know about till the other week.  How do you plea?” the judge stated slowly and sternly.

“Not guilty” the prince said quickly and brutally.  Gasps of the seated audience filled the air.  How could this man have such a heart of stone and no remorse for what he did?

“Why should I feel guilty?  For I am the most handsome, dashing and charming man in all of the lands.  I can make women weak in the knees and sweep them off their feet that’s what it says”.  The prince replied.

“Your very arrogant aren’t you,” said the judge.  “It’s my make-up, my lord it’s not my fault” Charming replied while shrugging his shoulders.

Ok, now I would like to hear your side of the story the judge asked.

“Well I’ll start from the beginning-; the prince began.  I was first married to Belle; she met me a few years after I was transformed into a beast.  I was told I had to learn from my wicked ways; by the time the last petal of the magic rose fell.  I did (for a while) and was changed back to my normal self.  Belle and I married shortly afterwards but it wasn’t to be.  We argued a lot and our relationship went downhill, so one day I packed my bags got into my car and left”.

“I then met and married Aurora who had golden hair and rose red lips.  While I was with her I noticed one day that Belle filed a missing persons report against me.  I wanted to go back to Belle after noticing this; but because I loved Aurora so much I didn’t”.  The prince stated.

“And what made you leave Aurora?” the judge asked. 

“She was lazy, slept all day long and watched too much day time television.  I had enough one day and moved on.”  The prince replied

“Then there was Cindy or Cinderella as she’s known to many”. The prince sighed “she had eyes like diamonds and long golden hair; when I saw her that night down at the disco I was enchanted”.  “I was weak in the knees and fell in love.  But then at about 12am she ran away like a scalded cat, she lost her shoe in the process and couldn’t believe my luck when I found her the next day”.

“I left Cinderella because she partied too much and didn’t do her bit around the palace” the prince continued.  “What!! You are joking, Cindy shrieked.  After the way I was treated by my two ugly sisters and wicked stepmother I think I’m entitled to party as much as I like”. she continued again.

Bang Bang Bang! went the judges hammer, “Order in the court he boomed “And you married all three without getting a divorce?”  The judge continued

“Yes I did, I don’t seem why I should divorce any of them; I’m prince charming I am the most charming, handsome and dashing man in all of the lands.” he said arrogantly

“Oh shut up you stupid man we have that rule in place because it is the law.” the judge muttered.

After charming gave his side of the story the judge concluded the case by saying, “Look; I’m not going to drag out this case any longer as I’m sick and tired of his arrogance, he’s a pain in the backside and all I’ve heard from him throughout this case is “for I am the most charming, handsome and dashing young man in all of the lands”.  There’s only so much of that I can take!!”  The judge said in frustration.

“I find you Mr Prince Charming GUILTY of all counts bigamy and sentence you to 25 years in prison, just be thankful it’s not 50 years!!” The judge continued to say.

“I’m not going to transform you as there’s no point; you’ll probably find another gullible princess to marry or victimise.”  “You might even with a bit of luck you might woo someone in prison, TAKE HIM DOWN.  The judge mocked while pointing his right thumb downwards.  As he was sent down the whole courtroom clapped, cheered and wolf whistled as charming was being sent to jail and getting the start of his comeuppance.