Man, Woman and Bird

By amberv_p

Sun, 02 Mar 2014
  • 668 reads
1 comments
 

Man and Woman were throwing Things at each other again.

 

            Smash, smash, smash. Man was bad at throwing Things, but Woman had very good aim; every Jar that Woman directed at Man hit Man square on Forehead.

 

            Bird (sitting on Tree outside) thought Man would fall to ground like all other Men did when they got hit by another Man in Street, but Man didn't. Bird figured man just had very thick Head.

 

            Man lifted Jug up above Head  and threw Jug at woman. Woman was standing next to Window where Bird was. Jug flew through Window, spinning spectacularly. Bird was impressed, so was Woman. Woman went up to Man.

            "Sorry."

            "Okay." Man took Hand and hugged Woman. Bird was confused again.

Woman bent down to pick up bits of House that lay scattered all over Floor,  man stooped down to help.

 

            "No use fighting," said man, "won't bring him back." Woman started to cry. Bird was confused; Bird thought Man had bad aim.

Certificate PG
Other
Young Writers
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Odd use of capitalisation. I'm not sure if this is done intentionally, but I'd be tempted to re-look at it and go for proper usage. 

 

I like the wierd stiltedness of this, it reads a like an old Chinese proverb and that makes it quirky.

 

And then we have the punch at the end.  The loss and grieving that explains the actions. 

 

Simple, odd, stilted, quirky ...but it works. There's something about this one that grabs you. It will come back to me later and that's the mark of  good writing.