Ways of Autumn

(for Dorothy)

"One must have a mind of winter"
The Snow Man Wallace Stevens

I
Ate peaches as a child; gorged flesh on cracked lips, sucked pulp
dry.
Placed withered stones to ear, listened to their shape and song,
nurtured
pith beneath blunt fingernails, bore honey rust in the autumn
sun.

II
Sunk arms into soil, tilled and ploughed, changed my shape and
sound,
sung songs to dormant roots and birds, of Rose Queens and
paper-thin
floats, under black skies and cloud; tore memories from the ground like
weeds.

III
Wore finest dock gloves (Rumex obtusifolius) when family visited,
spoke
in tongues and expletives. Spun dead tree branches during the night,
platted them,
wore the bark against my skin like armour, avoided my neighbours during
the day.

IV
Wove a crown of lilies and rose petals, sat in the dying afternoon
light, and
bore pomegranates against my breasts. Let them fall in September,
found
only twin husks and ash. Sang to my mother and went mad.

V
Tried to hide in oak leaves and travel down their veins. Took refuge
beneath
Sycamore trees during lightning and rain, climbed above all thunder
clouds
on tree limbs and knots. Screamed at the north wind to listen and
weathered.

VI
Took refuge in old age and madness, camped out beneath the falling
stars,
under tarpaulin with holes in. Told all that I created fire and
invented the wheel.
In the end, grew tomatoes in the heat, peeled the skin of each and made
a hammock.

VII
Grew bored in the third year, moved back to the city, nurtured new
diseases beneath
my fingernails, took job in a bank. Gave my honey rust to the drunk I
loved.
Wanted to plant grapes for him in the yard, wanted to let him drink me
dry.

VIII
Bore him a child made of Fall leaves and grape seed, watered him with
kisses,
rubbed him close against my bark, breathed him in and loved him for a
season.
Gave him my finest dock gloves as winter came.

IX
Fell ill before December was out, armour peeled and split, shards of
bark dug into my skin, exposed the paper-thin peach flesh beneath.
Spoke between fevers, traced canals
in my eyes (with my mother's finger), took to the sea in my bed and
mounted waves.

X
Saw seagulls on the final day, gathered around the mast, tasted the sea
salt on them,
they brought me peaches for my cracking lips, felt the juices on my
tongue and laughed.
Ate peaches as a child, placed their stones against my ear and listened
to their secrets.