Identities

Exposed Cruel
Desperate Astute
Weak Rash
Arrogant Oblique
Reserved Libertine
Discovered Insipid
Naive
Eccentric

Modesty. False modesty.
He's superficial. "It's all about the cash...". Why must he torment me
thus? Am I over him? Certainly there is no sexual attraction there; no
danger. He doesn't make my heart beat faster...so...

Habit. A nun's habit.
Keeps me teetering on a knife's edge. Is my heart closed? Look at his
photograph. In the arms of another girl? I don't know until I'm there
and seeing it first hand.

Jealousy. Envy.
Do I want him? Or do I want to be him? Arrogant, self-confident,
vulnerable and self-obsessed. I am me. Noone else. But does he want
me?

Doubt. Self-doubt.
Does he like me? Or do I automatically suggest that he doesn't so that
if he says no I won't be hurt. Is it that I fear rejection because I am
ugly?

Beauty. Ugliness.
Why is it that in one who was so superficially beautiful, there are now
seeds of doubt. And why, now, is one so ugly taunted with "stunning",
"gorgeous" and "sexy"?

Trust. Mistrust.
I trust...her...not myself. Not him? Not at all. "Totty" or "some weird
obsessive girl". Seperate lives. Why is there this confusion?