Oh dear, I seem to have mislaid...

"Excuse me, sir? Could you please direct me to the nearest Lost and
Found?"
"Certainly, madam. If you will follow me..."

"I seem to have mislaid a trilby hat of sentimental value. And with it
my memories have flown. Have you seen them anywhere?"

"Without you, madam, today's memories would be the scurf of
yesterday's."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid a photograph of me at 21. And with it
a long lost love. Have you seen him anywhere?"

"It is better to have loved and lost, madam, than to have never loved
at all."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid my spectacles. My sight is gone
without them. Have you seen my sight?"

"Sight is fleeting, madam. Seek the truth and verily thou shalt
see."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid my hearing aid. My hearing is lost
forever. Have you seen my hearing anywhere?"

"The good thing about being deaf, madam, is the ability to ignore what
you don't want to hear."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid my dentures. I can't eat. Have you
seen my teeth?"

"Man shall not live, madam, by bread alone."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid my nose clip. My nose is blocked and
my sense of smell has disappeared. Have you seen it?"

"Losing the sense of smell, madam, is a small price to pay for the
gaining of truth."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid my gloves. I'll not be able to feel
anything again if I do not keep my hands warm. Have you seen my
gloves?"

"The superficiality of touch, madam, is nothing to that of hope."

"Oh dear. I seem to have mislaid my theif alarm. It was in my handbag.
Now I am vulnerable to any attackers. Do you know where my handbag
is?"

"It is in my hand, madam. I am here to demonstrate man's inhumanity to
man. This is the truth."