Quality vs. Quantity

I feel as if I'm striving forever for that treasured
accolade...
The crimson sweet....mi swete brid...mein dereling...a flash of
green...
Something at least to suggest that I'm not just. Another writer. With
something to prove.
Could this be it?

I'm pursuing that which is forever out of reach...poor Tantalus...shall
he be forgiven?
Subtlety doesn't reap rewards...does it not make one feel better?
Achieving the best. Forgetting the rest. Put me to the test...don't
worry, I've failed again.

I've failed you again. I'm sorry.