Desperate Pete

DESPERATE PETE MEETS HIS MATCH
By Colin T Williams (c) 2000

Desperate Pete, was fleeing the law,
which wasn't unusual - he'd done it before.
You see, Pete had troubles, a cash flow prob'
So he simply found a bank to rob.
Racing in he'd flashed his gun,
grabbed the cash and away he'd run.
But minutes later the sirens did wail
and a posse of police were hot on his tail.
Feet slapped pavement and whistles blew
but Pete was fast - he almost flew.
Down alleys and lanes continued the chase,
the police determined to keep up the pace.
With a grin on his face, Pete spurted ahead
his heart was hammering and his face was red.
Pete had a plan - that he'd used before -
several times in fact - maybe more.
Turning a corner, Pete saw his goal
A sight so welcoming it warmed it soul
Gripping tightly the bags of cash
Pete made for the building with one mad dash
Inside the building he grinned like a cat
For he was inside MSN - the home of chat.
The police were foiled - they'd lost his scent
while Pete chose a chat room - and in he went.
Hugging his loot, Pete glanced around
He gulped and swallowed and deeply he frowned.
The room he'd chosen was definitely not right
It was full of police and flashing blue light
Stammering apologies, he backed out the door
raced to the lift and went up another floor
With so many rooms of chat to choose from
Pete closed his eyes and picked one at random
In through the doors of his choice he went
straightening his tie to look like a gent
Welcome! cried someone, Would you like drink?
A drink? echoed Pete. Er, yes... I think.
What would you like? asked the hostess with a smile
It's all free in here, so tarry a while.
Pete sat on a stool and loosened his tie
he took several breaths and gave a deep sigh
Relaxing a little he glanced round the bar
It was a cheerful room - one of the best by far
As the hostess made a drink, Pete studied her face
He thought she was lovely, and asked - What's this place?
The hostess smiled and gave him a gin
This place? she echoed - the Dew Drop Inn.
Dew Drop Inn? repeated Pete.
Is it secure? Is it discrete?
The hostess frowned and said: Why'd you ask?
And isn't it strange - you wearing a mask?
Pete's heart gave a lurch, at his stupid mistake
He had to look normal or she'd think him a fake
Oh, the mask! He said, his voice hale and hearty
I've er... been invited to a fancy dress party!
The hostess nodded, and acted polite
but she knew deep down that something weren't right
Those bags Pete clasped just looked kind of funny
And if she weren't mistaken - chock full of money.
And then she remembered - she'd heard on the news
that the police were desperate and looking for clues
The newsman had said that in the High Street
A bank had been robbed by Desperate Pete
Making excuses she left Pete and went...
...outside to her office and an email she sent
It was only ten minutes till the policemen came
they surrounded the room and yelled Pete's name
Come out! they called, With your hands in the air!
Pete jumped off his stool and at the door did he stare
He pulled out his gun and waved it about
I'll shoot everyone here - he replied with a shout
Don't be silly - hand yourself in!
Said a drunk at the bar - sodden with gin
Desperate Pete, lived up to his name
he glowered and spat and with his gun did he aim
Pete was mad - and no idle flatterer
He pointed his gun at an innocent chatterer
I'll do it! he yelled - looking deadly and mean
I'll not go to jail - I've already been
The hostess said: Put your gun down, honey?
Nip out the back door - you've still got the money
Pete's gun wavered as he glanced behind
and a plan formed in the hostesses mind
With a smile on her lips she rallied the clan
and yelled: - Kick out Pete - a twelve-hour ban!
Pete looked nervous as he heard the cry
He was extremely worried, but didn't know why
You'll not get me locked up in the slammer!
But his words were silenced by the descending hammer.