GOBSHITE TENNIS...

_____ Gobshite Tennis _________________

There's a new sport that won't gain Olympic recognition
it requires no equipment, physique or supervision.
It's played by men who like the sound of their own voice,
though women could compete, if given the choice.
SILENCE PLEASE FOR GOBSHITE TENNIS....

Bob's off to see his girlfriend - a battle is due,
She wants Monte Carlo, he wants trainspotting in Crewe.
His best mate Tom offers his two penn'orth:
"Nowt to it, buy her a ticket, give her spends for new gear,
then bugger off on yer own, like I did last year."
"Where did you go last year then?" Asked Bob to his mate,
"Oh. she went to Greece - I went to Harrogate,
Best brewery's are in Yorkshire, I toured round 'em all
An' crickets shite, rugby's crap an' I hate football.
I met a lass with a Harley- boy she made it go-
We talked crankshafts, torque ratios, and of course, I scored."
HEY UP, IT'S GOBSHITE TENNIS....

I saw Wigan Athletic, best team they ever turned out
was '67 of that I have no doubt,
Alf Craig's goal was disallowed tho' it crashed in't net,
the ref should've let it stand - the cheatin' little get.
ANOTHER GAME OF GOBSHITE TENNIS....

Bob glistens with baby oil as he shows off his pecs,
(He pumps iron and believes his balls will shrink, if he doesn't have
sex.)
Tom's closest mates are his hairdryer and his looking glass,
Chats up the girls by talking through his ass.
Brags in the gym, about his success in bed,
Introduces the girls to his penis, "Mr Ed."
A PASSIONATE GAME, THIS GOBSHITE TENNIS....

Mike and Paul like football, curry and ajar,
Mike believes he's God's gift, in his customised sports car.
They talk of high performance, turbo 4 x 4's,
Engine ratios, mpg, 0 to 60 - what a couple of bores.
HIGH REVS, PLEASE, ITS GOBSHITE TENNIS....

Stu and Jim swap fishy tales about one that got away,
Comparing catches, talking matches, trivia rules okay,
Their Friday nights are spent , preparing for the match,
then off to grab a granny night to see what they can catch.

GAME SET AND MATCH, ITS GOBSHITE TENNIS!