Hypocrites

Woke @ 9. We were being picked up @ 11 by Shaky. A quick drip shower
later &; we stumbled into a local dive. Just perfect - 1 chicken
sandwich, 2 steak &; egg rolls &; 2 mango, pineapple, strawberry
combo juices later, the hazy head subsided a touch. The Internet Cafe
opened across the road - sent the chick &; Mule quick ones to tell
them I'm alright. Saw some military parade in the square I visited last
night &; back to the hotel room. I'd managed to do quite a good job
on the stash acquired last night. There was no more bro' left &;
only about half an ounce of green. We both got the fear of taking it to
the airport, although Keels did try &; push the possession guilt
trip on me until... munch up big time. Quarter of the greenery down
each of our gullets &; off to the airport. Bade farewell &; good
fortune to Shaky. Everything very straight forward &; punctual.
Loads of grings at the airport with 'I've survived the Peruvian Amazon
Experience' T-shirts on. Twats. One of them was blind. I hope they had
plenty of fun in their air conditioned pads &; the locals skanked
them. Keels forced me to drink two gin &; tonics on the plane. Head
just in bits. I was also horizontal (i.e. floor). Managed to kip up for
about half an hour whilst fatboy got chatted up by some Liman geezer.
Pretty weird flying into Lima - I'd just been so used to flying over
jungle or mountains, that the dry, arid desert surroundings of Lima had
thrown up a dizzy head. We checked for flights to Nasca. None today,
but they could sort us out a charter for ?400 each. Fuck that.

Ho hum, these thangs are sent to try us. We decided to be as
hypocritical as fuck &; book into a four star hotel in Miraflores -
extremely quiet, americanised, upper class part of Lima. Next to the
Pacific though. The beach was quite extraordinary. Literally the City
tip. I was amazed at the waste of such a coastline. There are beaches,
but they were strewn with five to ten foot piles of steaming &;
burning rubbish. There's also a sewage pipe that leads to about ten
feet out &; a mass outpour of dark schmuck. I must admit, there is a
pier &; outdoor sports courts next to it all, so there is some
attraction. High yellowy brown cliffs overlook this, along with Hard
Rock Cafe &; other such wanky establishments. Quite funny though, as
our accomodation was exactly what we were moaning about in Iquitos.
Persuaded our guilt to subside by convincing ourselves that the locals
in this area are on our vibe when it comes to bed &; shower at the
moment. We had to tip the bell boy well, just so as our morals were
saved just a little. The bog had a phone within easy reach. Gave the
geezer in reception $100 - we got a room for $55 instead of the
advertised $120 - the cabbies sorted it - FP.

'No cambio'

'Alright then, what we'll do is, order shit loads from your bar &;
restaurant &; sort it out tomorrow.'

Once in, we took the obvious beers, chocolate &; nuts from the mini
bar. Plan was to go out &; get something substantial to eat, then
get pissed.

'I've just opened the door to the bellboy, who has supplied us with
four very large Seabreezes, two tequilas &; a big bowl of chips.
Wasters. We might still leave the hotel, but on looking at that tray,
I'm getting fairly dubious. Started repeating myself again. '

Keels : Wev is on the Parpatita trip - parping &; tittering is cool.
Poo is not following. It's completely true - Neil has shat 3 times in 3
hours &; blames his anal seepage on the dirty roads he has sat on in
the taxi. Surely there are no roads in the taxi.

'Gut ache - pressure of laughter too much to hold in. No poo up with
dub for Narinder.'

Four &; a half hours of similar bollocks later, we had worked out
that we had probably spent our $45 advance. I must admit, the Club
Sandwiches were a delight. Keels had crashed &; I felt too shy to
wake him (8 pm). We had a short disagreement on my feelings towards
working class heroes who end up with tens of millions of pounds, but
after being shoved to the floor &; water thrown over me from the
bwoy (wearing his shirt at the time - mine all stank), we laughed &;
Keels snored himself to sleep.

'Keels' snoring has turned from feline like to somewhat vehicular
tones. An hour later &; Keels' snoring has gone from Volvo to
imminent earthquake rumble like sounds. Peru has been shit hot. I
really feel we've fitted in superbly in the hour or so we've been
outside the hotels alone.

Thinking of stealing fatboys half finished glass of booze.'

Keels woke @ 4 am &; downed it. He set the alarm for 4.30 to allow
us time for a stroll to beach &; then have the complimentary
breakfast. The taxi driver was picking us up at 9.30 tomorrow morning
for our flights home. I realised my idea of saving space &; buying
my presents at the end of the holiday had gone a bit pear shaped, as I
had bugger in the way of presents, apart from the shitty ornaments I'd
bought in the Bog.