I live a lie

You know I do
You can hear it in words unsaid
And see between those smiling eyes
That voice is not sexy, just fag haggered
Those smiles are not smiles of relaxation, joy, completeness in life
But betray a sadness so deep
A shame so hard that you have to be good to burrow below

You know I'm not genuine
You know I don't like feeling this way
This weight out of control
Emotional highs and lows
Fear anger and unjustness
Welling up inside
Often justified
More often misinterpreted
Because I'm living a lie