Jack &; The Beanstalk

He sold his cow for some magic beans,
Oh my god what a prick,
What did the fool expect to happen?
A beanstalk to shoot from his dick?
You simple oaf!
You need compost lad!
Some water might help,
But not too much, just a tad.

I mean you're a farmer,
And you don't even have magic beans?
What are you growing then?
Trees sprouting denim jeans?
I'm sorry, I'm being so harsh,
I'm excusing the fact you were so dumb
You bought a farm placed on a marsh,

But back to the story,
Actually I don't care,
Something about a giant,
And a sweet fairy with pink hair,
But the point is you bought the beans
from a butcher,
To whom you sold your cow,
You and your mam got in a right old row,
And I'm not surprised, you silly sod!
She sent you to bed with little more than a nod,

Oh but when you wake up!
There's a beanstalk outside!
Oh yippee let's climb it!
There might be treasure!
No, there was a lot of thorny rosebushes,
And a seagull.
You're an idiot, Jack.