Jelli Beanz 4 Words

Jelli Beanz 4 Words

Don't make a mountain of a molehill they say. HA! That's easy for you
to say, I say. I'm not a flippin' mole but yet it's true to all mammals
that if you have a million-and-one essays and courseworks to write then
your little lump soon metamorps into a paper-made Mount Everest.

I am 100\% in that position.

Yet I do not understand people who sign, scratch their head and tut,
"oh sorry, I can't come I'm too busy." Or, "I'm so sorry but I'm really
bogged down in work and I couldn't find time." - LOOK HARDER YOU LAZY
SOD.

We LIVE in time, we bathe, lolling around in the stuff. Time is
flippin' well everywhere. I can't believe that people can be so utterly
busy that they can't take 30 minutes out to do something else. I don't
get people who stay up til 2 in the morning working like donkeys with
carrots on treadmills. Have you no life? Do you not sleep, eat, drink?
Stop for a few wee seconds to look out the window and check if it's
dark. Do you ever emerge from your darkened working cells to see people
who were once-upon-a-day 'friends?'

These people, they are everywhere and yet remain to me 'exceptional'.
They must have the worst time-management in the world. And stressed? Ha
- Stressed? STRESSED!!
Don't talk to them about STRESS!!

They are 'so busy' that they have time only to say 'Oh I'm so busy' and
'Oh I'm so stressed.' What kind of creatures are these things?

A seething mass of mouth and stomach ulcers, riding on a fuming wave of
high-blood pressure and hyperventilation - Eyez popped out of their
sockets and their once young hair now turned grey.

Gee man, peace out, take a chill pill.

Or a jelli bean. Yep, that's what I said - Jelly bean. Beautiful li'l
concoction of exactly the right sugars and chemicals. Bloody hell -
just read the side of the packet and I quote: "Glazing agents including
coconut oil and beeswax." Oh deary, and that's just the one's they did
write down. Help.

Anyways, 'Jelli beanz 4 Words' is a new scheme that I a) invented and
b) am trying out. What happens is that you have a million-and-one
essays and coursework things you need to write and no self-motivation.
Step forward Mr Jelli Bean packet. For every 100 words I write, I get
one jelli bean.

Does it work? Well I've just eaten 8 jelli beanz and I've just finished
by science coursework. So if you are one of those 'Oh, life's so crap,
I'm so busy, I'm so stressed' bullshitters then you to might like to
try it out. It's got a life time guarrenty of making you want to work,
and making you work faster. For jelli beanz are God's nectar and,
bugger me, they taste good.