June 17 2002

I smoke far too many ciggies, and I still have this damn cold, which
hangs around like a tax return. I know I have the cold and I keep
putting off something to do with it. Last night was bad, I spent two
hours trying to get to sleep, I felt like Alex trying to figure out if
I was really just losing the plot completely. I am watching Big
Brother. I watch it because it makes me think about why I am here,
writing messages to the future that, maybe, someone else will read and
wonder just who the hell I am. Or what I am.

I am a writer, or maybe I am a greengrocer. My gran dad was a green
grocer and ran a shop up in High Holborn, in Northington Street. I am
descended of North London parents and would have been born in
Cockfosters if they hadn't moved to Eastwood in Essex...I was born in
1962, and in 1966 I moved to Leigh-on-Sea, where I live now.

I am part irish and I think I would like to go to Dublin for a holiday,
although I don't have a passport as yet.

I am going through a strange phase and like Woody Allen am spending too
much time thinking about and discussing myself in public.

I like work, earlier i thought i didn't and i've had to delete all that
stuff. I don't think anyone is really that interested anyway.

I got the train this morning, and it was late. We were all crammed in
this four car train and this is one of the new trains, which has a
cattle coach area by the doors. I had to stand up all the way but my
wife got a seat, in fact we would have been stuck in the cattle coach
area if I hadn't persuaded people to move up, which given that I am
quite tall and so on they had no choice.

I am reading the "Kraken Wakes" at the moment by John Wyndham, which is
a truly excellent book. It is about this intelligence which arrives
from another planet and how they begin to change the planet. It is
worth reading, I guess I should give a better review of it somewhere
else. I may do that.

I have got this Bowie album called Heathen which I really like, in fact
I liked it so much that I played it solidly for three hours
yesterday.

I think too much introspection is bad for me, I begin imagining things
and then try to compensate. I must try to be more funny