A: LITTLE RED-EYED HOOD

LITTLE RED-EYED HOOD

Once upon a time there was a drunken little lass,
Who visited her Granny, to refill her glass?
She liked wine, beer, maximum proof,
A teenage alcoholic, that's the sad truth.
Her Grandmother lived deep off the beaten track,
A long walk to get there and a long walk back.
"Do be careful, dear," her mother said,
"Tales of that wolf are filling me with dread."
Little Red-Eyed Hood soon met the beast,
Who was reading Tolstoy's "War and peace."
"Hello, Red-Eyed Hood, can you spare a drink?"
"I noticed your basket contents clink."
"My Mummy told me to not to talk,"
With head held high she continued to walk.
"Little Red-Eyed Hood may I walk for a while,
I am reformed," he said with a false smile.
She waved him off, with one of her hands,
While the Wolf slinked away, hatching sinister plans.
Danger had passed; she sat down under a tree,
Opening her bottle, drink flowing free.
Not one, not two, but many downed,
Litter collected all around.
Delirium took hold in the biting cold,
Senses lost as her pupils rolled.
As I wake Many faces ponder,
Who was the little girl, from where did she wander.
Horses, riders, hounds all clustered around,
She woke to steamy breath, and trumpet sound.
"Little Miss, your Mother is filled with dread,
We will take you safely home to your warm bed"
"But what of the Wolf?" Her face showing fright.
"Who do you think we've been chasing all night?"
"Don't worry, Miss Hood, do you notice that aromatic smell?
The wolf we've caught, we're cooking as well.
The hounds will feast on what tit bits we don't eat,
So, crack open a bottle and we'll take a seat!"
The moral of this tale is perfectly clear:
Remember to pack plenty of wine and beer.