MISSING PIECES

All things can not be learnt easily, at times we learn easy things the hard way. The loss and gain of something teaches us the value of what we have, from earning to loosing something. There is a struggle in everything and every struggle is like a stepping stone to what we are and who we are. Sometimes we try to show our love and concern in a way that makes us calm. We think of giving our love and fulfilling our duties are one and the same thing. We do tend to forget though at times that love is natural and it requires no effort. We live in this materialistic world where happiness is bought in some or the other way. We forget that love starts from heart and reaches to all.
Sometimes we tend to take some people for granted and forget about the sweet gestures that makes a simple life a special gift. There is a feeling of regression when you loose those special relations and people.
In my dairy when I look back on all the moments I regret for many reasons. There are phases in my life which I wanted to share and part of me which I wanted someone to notice. There are lines which are still not written there are words that are still not used. The part of their love is missing, and words are missing, and I know that this diary that talks of me is still incomplete.
At times we tend to forget the most important people who just with us all the time, we tend to overlook them coz they have been there silently. When they leave this silence shouts and you search for them everywhere. Lost words and lost voices, and you tend to figure out your life in those lost pieces. A feeling of regression comes when you are angry with yourself for not being there for two more minutes, or saying the unsaid lines.
This loss is hard to digest, there is no second chance. You just can’t prepare yourself enough for it. We look for places for peace and run around to hide our tears. That peace lies in our heart which regrets a loss, and finds no peace.
There shall be no song, poem, or writer that can understand what you are trying to say. Thoughts are a bird of space that in a cage of words may indeed unfolds its wings but doesn’t fly. Friends and family stand by you trying their level best to assure you that everything will be fine and how sorry they are. But you know that nothing will be the same. There will be someone missing when you have the best times and the supporting hand will not be there during the worse times. When you get married, when you have kids, when you have a new job, when you have crisis, have you need just not someone but that person only. There is just a thank you missing which you wanted to say before they leave telling them we did notice you’re silently being there. A sorry is missing for all the times when they cried. We regret for not saying things we always wanted to.
There have been times now and then when we think more of them than we did before. We appreciate them for what they did, which went unnoticed before. A quiet and unspoken, true and unconditional love, care and support given by that person is truly felt. There is a belief in those people’s eyes; they see us better than anyone can. In the jigsaw puzzle of our life there is a missing piece and the picture without them shall never be complete. They are the lyrics of our life without them our song is incomplete.
Even then when I know all of this my biggest guilt is still there. I know how much I miss and love the people who are not with me but I just can’t seem to answer this fine question I come across every time I think of them. Do I feel sorrier for their loss of life or i feel sorrier for myself and my loss?