My Parents Will See This...

My parents will see this. What was I thinking? I wanted to write -
ha! Should have listened to the critics, listened to those members of
my family who told me I was only fooling myself. But I listened to
others - those who encouraged me to chase the dream...

You can't afford to be bashful, my 'inner' voice cried. If you want to
write then you have to WRITE, not hide. You have to give yourself
complete freedom. After all, no one need 'read' it unless you decide.
That was when I broke through.

I threw away inhabition, discretion. I let the pen move with a life of
its own. Where did this story come from? There was no way it could have
been hiding in me.

I don't have those kind of thoughts... I'm a good girl. That's what my
parents always assumed.

Now its out there in print. And they'll see. They'll think things of
me...

Strangers will make their own judgements. Without knowing me, knowing
anything of my life. They'll presume I drop my knickers at the snap of
someone's fingers, that the only thing on my mind at any given time is
the memory that lingers...

Bad enough. But to them I'm faceless. Even if they eventually see me
depicted in some romantic image taken by some well-handled camera,
there is still some distance. In the great scheme of things I don't
mean anything... to them.

But my parents. My in-laws. My... mother-in-law. She'll take the
impression out of the pages. Whenever she sees me all she'll have on
her mind is a picture of me going down on her son. Which I do... but
I've never put it out there for the whole world to view.

So sue. Our parents had sex or we wouldn't be here. What do they think
we do behind closed doors, halfway down the stairs or on the kitchen
table, while bodily-abled? They did it once... we do it two, three,
four times as long... ah...ah...Ahhh... I imagine. Why stare?

Of course... I suppose... You don't think they still...? Don't even go
there.