Odour Speaks Out

Ms. Odour Speaks Out

- Before I was so rudely interrupted by Mr. Wanker, I was trying to
tell you all a story. Now where was I?

- The spider on your kitchen floor.

- Oh that's right. So, as I watched it slowly crawling across the
floor, I gripped the ' Kleenex ' tissue tightly in my palm. It was
moist from my hand which had become clammy in anticipation for the life
I was to steal.

- Wait! You don't keep ' Kleenex ' around the house since it gave your
daughter a sore on her nose when she had the flu last fall.

- You are right indeed Mr. Swine. I was simply trying to trick you all.
You certainly are bright though. Anyway, I stood gripping the ' Bounty
' paper wipe which was becoming moist from my hand, in anticipation of
stealing the life of this beetle.

- Spider

- Correct Mrs. Dank. To continue, the spider with its long twelve
legs-

- Spiders have only eight legs!

- "Only eight legs", and how many legs do you have Dr. Pussbleed? Eight
legs, one spider, one bounty wipe. I watched as it edged towards my
fridge worrying that it would crawl into my juice and wait until I
drank it, choking to death. It was Him or I.

- 'Him or me' you mean?

- Actually, Mme. Skank, I believe it is more proper to say ' Him or I'.
Anyway, I dove on the rodent.

- Mice and Rats are rodents, spiders are arachnids.

- I was just testing my audience Mr. Vermin. My what an attentive
group. As I said, I jumped, but I missed it, the darn thing ran right
under my fridge.

- Whatever did you do?

- I bought some coffee filters and put them with my juice
glasses.

At this, his audience let out a great laugh. All except Ms. Odour who
sat quietly alone in a corner. The rest of them decided that now should
be the time when they give him a name.

- Mr. Genius! yelled Mrs. Dank.

- Mr. Storyteller! suggested Mr. Wanker.

-Mr. Clever! let out Dr. Pussbleed.

- Mr. Hilarious! said Mr. Swine.

- Mr. Exciting! Mme. Skank urged.

-Mr. Fantastic! cried Mr. Vermin, what do you think Ms. odour?

- This man is not a fantastic, exciting, clever genius, telling
hilarious stories, he is but a degenerate. We shall call him Mr.
Degenerate!

And that was that, the name stuck.