Shrinking

Walking in I wipe my feet self-consciously on the hairy doormat,
aware of the cream coloured carpet stretching through the hallway. The
whole house is cream coloured. A perfectly harmonised environment with
no bright colours screaming to be appreciated or trying to outdo each
other, neutral but everso slightly warm.

I lie on the bed (after taking off my shoes) and look at the clock. We
have said hello to each other in a perfectly controlled way. Neither on
of us acknowledges the other too enthusiastically or too coldly. It is
a greeting of perfectly modulated respect. Calibrated just right. We
are not desperately happy to see each other neither are we dreading the
encounter (although I speak only for myself here as she may indeed be
dreading it or thinking fondly of toast I really have no idea).

I fancy she looks a little anxious now we have sat down and she has
closed the door. I can't see her properly without straining my neck so
I could be mistaking my strained and inaccurate vision for her
anxiety.

I think of what to say. I know she will, any minute, ask 'So have you
been dreaming?' A question that makes sleep feel like homework and
dreamless nights appear hopelessly inadequate. It also, I feel, casts
aspersions on my daytime existence, insinuating that only my night time
thoughts are of any interest whilst my daily life sheds no light on the
situation. My situation.

Although I'm not actually sure that I am in a situation as such. Well
something needs to be illuminated that much she is sure of (hence the
constant dream interrogation) but I am not always convinced.

She tells me I am 'airy fairy' and I agree.

If I try hard enough I can take it as a compliment.

Afterwards I tell my friends and family, watching carefully for their
reactions, and they all just nod and smile as if it something that they
have known for years.

Note: Most likely she has a room upstairs, kept under lock and key,
full of riotous and demanding colour. Perhaps she and her husband, for
she has one, go up there sometimes just to look.