Tartan Army

I am a man with a 'fitba'llin' heed
And a fitba' shaped white body
I wanted to go off to Idaho
But I'm stuck here in Kirkcaldy

To be on the road wi' ma mates in oor kilts
Is the one thing that inspires me
I dream everyday in this clarty wee hole
Of ma time wi' the tartan army

We voted oorsel's the 'Worlds Favourite Fans'
And it makes us quite distinguished
United by tartan and bevy are we
And a hatred of the English

We don't like the way they set aboot their game
Wi' their arrogant ambition
We say that we'll lose so we know that we'll lose
Winnings no' in oor tradition

We don't like the Fenians, laugh at the Welsh
And their shitey wee Assembly
We're proud that we're friends wi' whoever we meet
And we're proud that we trashed Wembley

We're ambassadors for the proud Scottish race
Wi' nae darkies and nae girlies
We're never a problem to those where we stay
Cause we always leave things early