Toadstool Goblins

The Toadstool Goblins

Once upon a time in a far away kingdom (of course), there lived a
princess with the difficult name of Sophia Maria Anastasia Patricia
Jayne Elizabeth Victoria Clementine, but we will call her Sophie for
short. Sophie lived in a very old, very large castle, complete with as
many dusty secret passages and twisting spiral staircases as a young
girl with a very active imagination could wish for. Sophie was not a
particularly princess-y princess. Regal things like needlework and
tending roses bored her to tears; Sophie wanted to be a brave knight
and loved to stomp around the castle, armed with her wooden sword to
vanquish imaginary monsters. She always wore her special grizzly bear
slippers whilst exploring. The King had given them to her so she didn't
need to be afraid of the dark any more, and they worked so well that
when she wore them she was not afraid of anything.

One day, Sophie decided to explore the oldest part of the castle. She
was sprinting down a corridor, hot on the trail of a big bad wolf
(better known as Saffy the Cat), when she tripped over a rug. In a
desperate attempt to stop herself falling, she grabbed onto one of the
tapestries adorning the wall. The tapestry came away in her hand,
Sophie landed on the floor with a thump and the embroidery landed on
top of her. She struggled her way out from under the tapestry and
surveyed the damage. 'Pants!' Exclaimed Sophie, 'I'm in big trouble
now!' She checked her knees for damage and was wondering how to hang
the tapestry back up when she noticed something. The tapestry had been
hiding a small oak door. Sophie gave the handle a pull and the door
swung open with a loud 'CREAK!' Behind the door was a narrow staircase.
Without hesitation, Sophie pelted up the steps.

At the top was a tiny room, full of dust and cobwebs. The only thing in
the room was a table with an ancient computer on it. The machine was
switched on and there was a game on the screen, showing a picture of a
frog and a wand. Sophie considered herself to be a bit of a whizz at
computer games, so she reached out and touched the mouse...

BANG!

Sophie round herself standing in a strange room, surrounded by flasks
and jars of liquids in every colour of the rainbow. Some of them were
bubbling, and some smelled rather odd. Sat in front of her was a large
frog, With a white beard and pointy hat.

'You took your time, said the frog crossly. 'You should have been here
ten minutes ago.'

'Who are you?' Asked Sophie, feeling rather puzzled by all this. 'And
where am I?'

' am Filbert, court wizard to King Homer of the Lakes,' announced the
frog. 'The wicked toadstool goblins have stolen all the cheese from the
Kingdom. None of us can have a cheese sandwich, so I used my magic to
summon the two greatest knights who ever lived to come and help
us.'

'But I'm not a knight,' protested Sophie. 'I mean, that's just make
believe...'

'Nonsense!' spluttered Filbert. 'My spells hardly ever go wrong. Now
come and mean your brave companion.'

A moaning sound came from a table. 'I'm not brave and I just want to go
home,' the table groaned. Sophie lifted up the table cloth and peered
underneath. A man dressed in slightly rusty armour was trembling in
fright and looking utterly miserable.

'Are you going to help me beat the goblins?' asked Sophie brightly, who
liked the idea of being a fearless warrior for real.

'No,' said the man gloomily. 'They call me Sir Feeble for a reason. I'm
scared of everything, and I'm not coming out from under this table. I'm
terrified of toadstool goblins, petrified by ponies, I'm even
frightened of frogs. I want to go home! I feel a headache coming
on...'

'Nonsense!' said Filbert cheerfully, pulling Sir Feeble out from under
the table. 'Now come along, the sooner you set off the sooner we can
all have our macaroni cheese for tea.'

It took Sophie an hour to persuade Sir Feeble to get onto a horse, and
even longer to make him leave the castle. Feeble had never been on a
horse before, and kept falling off, so Sophie tied him on with a bit of
string. They had a long journey ahead of them. The goblins lived in
Fungus Forest, on the other side of the biggest of the Great Lakes.
When they reached the lake, it stretched away from them, looking as
wide as an ocean. Feeble cheered up. 'Oh dear, he said. 'Look, there
are no boats! Looks like we'll have to go back...' But Sophie wouldn't
give up.

'There has to be something we can do,' she insisted. 'Maybe there's a
boat hidden somewhere? Look, there's a cave right down by the water. I
bet we'll find a boat tucked away in there.' She jumped off her horse
and ran towards the cave.

'Be careful!' shouted Feeble. 'You never know what horrible things hide
in caves!' But Sophie didn't listen. Feeble sighed, and sat under a
tree and fell asleep.

The cave was very big and very dark. Sophie lit a lantern which Filbert
had given her, but it was still hard to see. She had walked a long way
into the cave, when she stepped on something. She shone her torch on
it. It was green. It was long. It was scaly. It moved. It was a tail,
and attached to it was a large green dragon. The dragon growled
furiously.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAVE?' it roared, looking very menacing and
toothy.

'I'm sorry,' said Sophie. 'I'm looking for a boat. My friend and I are
trying to get across the Great Lake to get back the cheese that the
goblins have stolen.'

The dragon looked thoughtful. 'I haven't had cheese on my pizza for
weeks' he said. 'Maybe I can help you?'

Feeble woke up when Sophie got back. He was pleased to see that she was
still alive. Then he noticed a huge green monster behind her. 'RUN!' he
screamed, looking at the beast's teeth, which seemed very shiny and
sharp. 'Please don't eat me!' The dragon grabbed hold of his cloak and
lifted him in the air. Feeble nearly fainted with fright.

'I don't eat people,' said the dragon crossly. 'They're far too chewy
and all the bones stick in my teeth. I told Sophie I'd fly you to the
Fungus Forest. Now climb on my back'

'But I'm scared of flying,' trembled Feeble, trying to run again. The
dragon scooped him up in his claws, waited for Sophie to scramble up
onto his back, and soared up into the sky with a flap of his vast
wings.

The dragon left them at the edge of Fungus Forest, and promised to wait
until they came back. The forest was very dark. The trees were tall and
blocked out all of the sunlight. The ground was covered in luminous
mushrooms, which gave the only light, and squishy
Damp moss. There were no birds in the forest and it was very quiet.
Occasionally Sophie and Feeble heard weird howls and thumping
footsteps, and caught glimpses of red eyes peering at them from the
gloom. They walked as fast as they could.

Eventually they came to a place where the path split in two. 'I wonder
which way we should go?' pondered Sophie.

'That,' said a voice, 'depends upon where you want to go.'

'Who said that?' squeaked Feeble.

'It was me, silly,' said the voice. Feeble and Sophie looked around.
'Hello, turnip brains, I'm right here in front of you!' The voice came
from a small tree.

'I didn't know trees could talk!' gasped Sophie.

'They can't,' said the tree crossly. 'I'm a beautiful lady under a
spell. The Goblin Queen put me under a spell because I'm more lovely
than her. I have to stay like this until a brave knight rescues
me.'

'What do I need to do?' asked Feeble. 'Give you a kiss?'

'YUCK!' said the tree. 'No way. You must go sown the path to your
right, battle the terrible beast and get some water from the magic
pool. And you must go on your own.'

Feeble looked at the path. It was dark and scary. He started to shake.
Sophie thought for a while. 'I know,' she said. 'My slippers make me
brave. When I wear them I'm not scared of anything. Maybe if you borrow
them you can be brave too?' She took them off and gave them to Feeble,
who put them on.

'I feel braver already!' he said, and set off down the path, before he
could change his mind.

Feeble had not gone far when he heard a rustle in the bushes. He began
to shake, but thought about the magic slippers and the beautiful lady
who needed rescuing. A loud roar rang through the forest and a huge
hairy purple beast leaped in front of him. It growled and waved its
sharp claws and stamped its feet, making a sound like thunder. Feeble
picked up one of the bear slippers, and threw it at the creature. He
hit it right on the nose. The beast looked surprised, then hurt, then
it began to cry. It ran away into the forest to find a tissue. Feeling
a lot better, Feeble put the slipper back on and went to find the
pool.

He came to a clearing, filled with sunlight and covered with bright
flowers. A fish sat in the middle of the pool, reading a book. He
looked up. 'Please can I take some water from you pool?' Feeble
asked.

'Certainly,' said the fish. 'What are you doing round here? I don't get
many visitors in these parts'. As Feeble scooped up some water, he
explained about the cheese. 'Then take some water to the Goblin City
with you,' said the fish 'It's the only thing that can break the Goblin
Queen's spells. And you might find some of the blue flowers useful.'
Feeble filled a flask with water, picked three flowers and ran back to
Sophie and the tree. He poured a few drops of water onto the tree, her
branches seemed to melt, her leaves fell away and she turned into the
most beautiful lady that Feeble had ever seen. She cheered up now that
she wasn't a tree, and even gave Feeble a hug for being brave. The
three then set off for the Goblin kingdom.

The Goblins lived in giant hollow mushrooms, which grew out of the
slimy forest floor. They stored their food in big wooden barns near the
middle of the city, and Sophie guessed that the cheese would be here.
She lead the others through the mossy streets, trying not to get
spotted by the goblins. They got to the barns safely, and picked two to
search. Feeble found nothing except an empty sack and five mice. Lady
Hannah and Sophie found the cheese in the second barn. Unfortunately
they also found the bunch of goblins who were guarding it. Feeble could
only watch and hide as his two friends were carried away to the Goblin
Queen's castle. He looked down at Sophie's slippers. 'It's up to me to
rescue them,' he thought.

Her Great Royal Naughtiness, Queen Chantarelle, was sat upon her thrown
when the prisoner were dragged in front of her. 'They were after the
cheese!' squeaked Blob, the smallest goblin.

'Silly fools!' Queen Chantarelle sneered. 'Nobody steals from the
Goblin Queen!'

'But the cheese isn't yours!' shouted Sophie.

'Silence!' the Queen ordered. 'You won't be so noisy when I turn you
into stone. Bring me my book of spells, Blob!'

The goblins took Sophie and Hannah to a garden filled with statues.
They were all the other knights who had tried to save the cheese. Queen
Chantarelle opened her book and read strange words out of it. There was
a flash of darkness and Sophie and Hannah were rock. Feeble watched
from behind a hedge. He didn't know how to help his friends now.

Then he remembered the flowers that the magic fish had given him. He
jumped over the hedge, not noticing that the slippers fell off. He
waved the flower at the goblins and golden pollen exploded out of it.
The goblins breathed it in, and with a shrinking noise got smaller and
whiter and rounder, until they were all mushrooms on the ground. Feeble
then poured water over each of the statues in the garden. The greyness
of the stone faded away as all of the knights came back to life.
'Thanks, Feeble!' Sophie said. 'Now what are we waiting for? Let's get
the cheese!'

They all ran to the barn, and gathered up all of the cheese, then
sprinted away through the forest. They didn't stop running until they
got back to where the dragon was waiting for them. With the dragon's
help they carried the cheeses across the lake, and back to the castle
of King Homer. The King himself, a tall pink flamingo, came to meet
them. He was so pleased to have the cheese returned that he threw a
huge cheese party to celebrate. Everyone stuffed themselves with cheese
and pineapple, cheese and biscuits and cheese cake.

Of course, everybody then lived happily ever after. King Homer said
that in view of his bravery, Sir Feeble would be named Sir Lion Heart.
The lovely Hannah asked him to marry her, and promised to buy him a new
pair of bear slippers. King Homer also asked Sophie to stay and be one
of his knights. Sophie thanked him, because being a knight would be a
brilliant adventure, but decided to go home because her mum and dad
would be getting worried about her, and she was starting to miss them.
She waved goodbye to all her friends, and Filbert waved his wand.
Filbert even sent her back in time so the King an Queen wouldn't know
that she had gone. She just had time to hang up the tapestry that she
had knocked down before the Queen came to tell her it was time for tea.
They all had cheese on toast.