Women's Complaints

WOMEN'S COMPLAINTS (For Mr Harris)

We're the menopausal women -
you shouldn't mess us around -
our hormones are unstable,
our mental state unsound...

We have to sit in your waiting room,
with information around the walls,
about conception -
contraception -
and fertility for all.
We are women of a certain age,
with aching joints and hot sweats
and I can't believe that this
is as good as life gets...

We've been and done it -
got the T shirt -
the kids have flown the nest -
it's time for fun with a big 'F'
(and without an afternoon rest.)
We want to enjoy holidays -
to party with toyboys (and feel their bums)
tease pimply youths who fancy older women,
even older than their mums....

We're the menopausal women,
who start sentences then forget-
We know what we mean,
small wonder we get upset
as we fester in your waiting room
with bones wearing thin,
clobbered by Jimmy Young
and Radio Two's inane din....

Good things come in small packages.
Like diamond rings and HRT,
not 8lb bundles of 'joy'
that only shit and pee...
I'm a menopausal woman
who enjoys the occasional Scotch
and hopes my gynaecologist has gentle hands,
and remembers to remove his watch.