CIRCUMLOCUTION

CIRCUMLOCUTION

Isn't that where you take the tip off the pen?.
Or is that one the ritual called circumcision?
Oh, I know about Circumlocution, that's when
You can't write with any direct precision
But go off all round the houses, fields, meadows,
Valleys, parks, woodlands, forests and mountains
Meandering and passing sheep, goats and cows
Moving onward to conclusions one never attains
Like an endless Ronnie Corbett monologue,
(That's the little fellow in the Two Ronnies show,
Not the circumcision thing from the synagogue)
Circumlocution never gets to the point you know
So the narration just drones on and on and on and on
Incessantly, without cease, driving you further up the wall,
So you wonder if the speaker's still talking after you've gone,
And you'd punch the boring bastard if you had the guts or gall
To say enough is enough, I know all about circumlocution
Gobbledegook, waffle, twaddle and endless over-elocution
So shut up now, or I will get to the point - I mean it,
Or you'll get the very sharp point of my bloody bayonet.

Arthur Chappell