K Careers of Gertie

Gertie looked in the mirror and wondered why was it that for as long
as she could recall she looked like a stand in for Worzel Gummidge
every morning. Could it be that her laid back attitude (another word
for laziness) in not removing her makeup at night like all good people
do or the fact that due to streaking her hair blonde gave her hair the
idea that it was a free blowing haystack be responsible for this
horrendous look every morning. No Gertie decided it was just her bad
luck that her pillow's disliked her head. Well she thought let's try
and improves on the first thing in the morning look. A routine of sorts
was launched into; first the kettle now the curling tongs plugged in
and last of all the shower. Now the first and third of this so called
routine went easy, but when the second of these is used a battle of
wills is to be implemented. This is because her hair thinks it is a
haystack and doesn't think it should be tamed, but Gertie is quite
ready to compromise and a respectful decency is arrived at.
Not everybody first thing in the morning is as noisy and happy first
thing, and boy can she be noisy. Everything that can be banged and
clattered usually is, starting with the kitchen, moving to the bathroom
and finally the bedroom. She was once told that Wimpeys could build a
house more quietly than she was in the morning, but there again the
person that told her that usually had a massive hangover every morning,
so in her books didn't warrant consideration. In fact if anything she
made sure more noise was made just for the hell of it.
After the first ten minutes of waking in the morning Gertie was full of
energy, which is very annoying to anybody who is slow to come round.
She wasn't alone in this though she has a brother exactly the same. His
poor long suffering wife found the answer to this what she termed as
positively indecent behaviour, by staying in bed with the covers
wrapped tightly around her ears to quell the sometimes toneless singing
that would burst out of his voice box. The result of this was hugs and
kisses upon arrival from work and a long and happy marriage.
Work was a passion with Gertie and couldn't understand why people
moaned about going to it. In her logical mind if you hated it that much
change your job, simple answer. She had many times and at one point
thought of writing to the Guinness Book of Records to ask if she
qualified for entry into it. Her working career started as an office
junior that lasted a whole six months until the big boss sent for her.
Well I'm sure everybody at sometimes in their lives has had the same
scenario, you know the one, the two mile hike across the two inch thick
carpet, the massive desk with the little man sat on a plump cushion, so
that he can see over the top of it. He informed her that in his opinion
she was not suited to office work and required something less quiet.
Gertie for once had to agree with the man that wanted to be agreed
with, the result being her seeking new employment at the end of the
week. Her next career moves were in the retail industry, in other words
working for B.H.S. selling men's jumpers, and after that making
buttonholes in frilly baby dresses, which really fired the imagination
(I don't think so) and inspired her to make her next career move, which
was to become a hippie. The requirements for this consisted of being
jobless and homeless. First came the resignation and a trip to sign on
the dole and the second proved to be even easier, removal from the
family home. This was easier because her dear devoted mother had
already decided that she didn't like children and positively hated
teenagers.
Understandable, when you consider that the great white hopes of the
family now consisted of two Hells Angels and a budding hippy. So a new
freethinking Gertie started her life as a hippy. First came a trip to
the local Sue Ryder shop. For anybody that is not familiar with this
exclusive establishment let me tell you it was a source of untold
riches to a now newly skint hippy. Every kind of cast off clothing
could be bought there including real fur coats and down to the ankle
dresses, which was just the job for promoting a new image. In her free
thinking she also realised that she would only take the parts of this
new career that she was comfortable with, so really she was only part
hippie but oh what fun Gertie had. This lasted longer than any career
had up to now, but change was due, as being hungry wasn't part of the
deal. The next job was unusual for a girl to do as woman's rights to
the same pay was not very well received by the male population, but
Gertie being Gertie thought this was only fair and proper and launched
herself into the working man's life as a clippie or proper name bus
conductress. Now this did develop into a love affair with work, as many
hours as she wanted to work, all shift work and a mans wage as well.
She nearly always took the first bus out and brought the last bus in
and afterwards visited a nightclub where she knew people. Dancing
became a passion and life was lived to the full. It would probably kill
me now thought Gertie. Still all great things had to end and so it
did
The career had to take a back seat due to nature taking it's course in
the form of babies and those wonderful creatures known to the human
species as husbands.
Oh there was work but in her mind it didn't come under the heading of
career, more necessity, a grocer cum off licence shop and two tenanted
pubs, several small jobs including a dog collection service for kennels
and knitting sample jumpers for the local knitting shop. Life was
varied and as she always thought lots of fun.
Husband number 1 was to go off the scene and the career was to resume,
sad but Gertie looked at it as a challenge to get back in the Guinness
book of Records. This took the form of factory work, making sample
books of matching wallpaper and fabrics. Now while the work was very
mundane and repetitive, she found a strange peace doing the job, maybe
because she liked the colours and textures of the paper &; fabric,
she also found that she could switch off her mind and this in turn gave
her the ability to quieten down for a short time. In fact Gertie would
describe herself as pretty boring during this period of her life, she
felt no need for other peoples company and became a loner. This period
of self-meditation also made her realise that she really didn't know
herself and set about putting this right. Her next career change came
in the form of a tentative suggestion by a lifelong friend who just by
coincidence became husband number two. This she looked into with her
new found gusto and the fact that she had decided that self meditation
was not for her as it isolated her from the world, which in Gerties
books was not the done thing. Life once again became a challenge and
the crazy lady which she had ignored for too long, once again reared
her head and made life something to laugh and smile about. The new
Gertie found the job that had been suggested had been the niche in life
that she was looking for. It entailed looking and caring after the
rapidly growing world of the elderly, and what a world it was. It
allowed her show the caring that was in her heart, and still develop
her own personality even more so than ever before. She loved caring and
talking to the dementia cases, and laughed to herself when she found
their world beautiful if not realistic. Who needs realism anyway,
Gertie certainly didn't, as she often described herself to close
friends and family as living in the land of the fairies herself. So
work became a passion once more and to this day still is. Which is why
Gertie doesn't have sympathy for the moaners of the world about going
to work. Her only one regret is that she never did make it into the
Guinness book of Records.