Uncle Podger's Nephew

My Uncle Podger was a great man.The cruel world will say that he amounted to nothing.Maybe that's why he was so great.He died a pauper.But what he did leave behind was the handwritten manuscript of his immortal work "Podger's Pearls.As the name suggests the book was a product of the varied experiences of my dear Uncle.All my life,Unco,as I called him lived off my useless father.Dad was and still is a successful lawyer.He wins most of the cases he takes up.Unco died six months back after eating three days worth of food in one meal.He was forever trying out things,you see.Nevertheless Unco's manuscript fell into my hands.In the first twenty pages of the masterpiece he had given advice about love affairs.He was very forthright.All famous love affairs have ended in the lovers getting seperated or dying.So,he advised,if you must love do not take the romance to its natural end-marriage.Instead, seperate.I decided to try this.
I have just started college.And our college has a great cafeteria.One day,in the cafeteria I made the acquaintance of a very beautiful lady.She was a year senior to me and taller.But what do you know we fell in love.We ate from the same ice-cream,we made club sandwiches together.And we drank Campa Cola using the same straw.Everyone thought we were an item.I took Melissa on bike-rides all around the college and even quiet girls passed remarks about our cosyness.I was growing uncomfortable.
We went to the Summer Dance together.We participated in various couple games.What do you know we were declared pair of the evening.I was happy,very happy.I decided to tell Melissa about "Podger's Pearls.She showed great interest in the book. I was ecstatic.Two days later I decided that THE time had come. I went down on one leg and told Melissa, "Darling, we are now officially in love.Time has come for us to go our seperate ways.Its what Uncle Podger has asked me to do in his book. Melissa hardly knew what had hit her.She walked out of the room in a hurry.I was pleased that she had understood what I had tried to tell her.I knew that she would be my girlfriend for ever and ever but that we would never meet.Perhaps,Uncle Podger was wrong for once.Two days later Melissa visited me with Ian in tow. "Meet Ian, she said, "We have been going steady for a month.Now what can you say about that.