Yo-Yo

I have just one sister and her name is Lily. She is younger to me by
three years. I live with my mother and sister in Weakport which is just
outside Calcutta. It would be better to say I used to live there
because for the past three weeks I have been in Calcutta. My late
father had built a house in central Calcutta. For various reasons we
never lived there. Instead, the place had been let out to a family.
That family too is no longer what it used to be. The original tenant
died three years ago. He is survived by his wife and daughter. The
former lady is a patient of asthma. The latter, a pretty young lady in
her twenties works for a local newspaper. Lily's marriage has recently
been fixed. The groom is a medical graduate. I want him to study
further. He refuses to take any help from me but his parents, who are
not exactly rich have no objection. I am a potato farmer and my savings
are quite meagre. The only way I can raise money is by selling off our
house in Calcutta. It is for this I have been camping in Calcutta for
the last twenty-one days.
Camping is quite the right word here. It has been a veritable battle so
far. At first the tenants refused to meet me. They preferred to see a
woman they said. I am not one to be consumed by such disdain. I visited
them every single day for a week before eight am and after eight pm.
That is when they said they were available. But not once was the front
door of what was my own house opened to me. I decided to try something
else. I visited Elegant's office. Now Elegant is the name of our old
tenant's daughter. I must admit that she is very pretty. And smart too.
Her office is in south Calcutta. It is a massive building, one of those
where the staircase is of no use. And her office is on the twelfth
floor. The liftman refused to take me into his lift. It took me the
good part of an hour to explain the circumstances of my visit to him.
The office was spacious and tastefully decorated. Everyone seemed busy
and everyone was impeccably dressed. I was wearing a pensionable shirt
and working-trousers both of which were unclean. I told the
receptionist that I wanted to meet Elegant and that I was her landlord.
The receptionist nearly died of giggling and asked a bearer to summon
Elegant. She seemed to have second thoughts and got up from her seat
and went inside. After a good ten minutes Elegant appeared and she too
was laughing. In fact she was making no effort to suppress the fact
that she was laughing at me. In my loudest voice I thundered, "I give
you one month to vacate my house. The next time we meet the police will
be by my side. I hope this is clear." Elegant shook her head from side
to side and went inside laughing. As I entered the lift I realized that
the zipper of my trousers was open. So this is what they were all
laughing at.
One month passed. The legally stipulated notice-period was over. I went
to the local police station and explained my position. The
inspector-in-charge agreed to come with me. It was a Sunday. Our house
has two floors and a small garden in front. I stood in the garden and
shouted, "I have come with the police to take possession of my house. I
give you ten minutes to pack your things and leave." Even as I spoke
the front door opened and Elegant's mother came out with a large
kitchen knife. Her eyes were blood-shot. In a voice filled with rage
she warned, "I will stab anyone who comes near me with this knife. And
after killing all of you I will finish my daughter and myself. Come on,
come attack me!" The inspector was clueless. He had come to ask two
harmless ladies to vacate an ancient house and an enraged killer with a
large knife was the last thing both he and I expected. We were forced
to beat a hasty retreat.
I needed the house. So did the two female occupants. And each party was
helpless in its own way. I felt it would be a good idea to call a truce
and become friends. We had a meal together and got formally introduced
to each other. Well, we became friends, good friends. Maybe too good.
Elegant and I went out a few times. Yesterday I asked her to marry me.
And she has said yes. From now on Elegant and her mother will stay in
our farm in Weakport. And yes, I am selling my house in Calcutta and
sending my brother-in-law abroad for higher studies. I am lucky, am I
not?