Into the Blue

Chapter 1: The journey

‘Life is about the journey not the destination.’

510km cycled. I wrote down in my diary. I lifted my now exhausted and shaky legs from my bicycle and parked my bike on the cream wall of the building. The sun was burning hot. What makes a journey worthwhile? I thought to myself as I reached for my much loved water bottle. I gulped the crystal clear water and swallowed, down my oesophagus it went, refreshing me, this water was heaven. I checked my legs for sunburn, nope I was all good. Thank goodness. ‘You have Irish skin” my Mum Dad used to joke. As a kid I was confused, Mum was a New Zealander and Dad was Scottish, so how can I, an Australian have Irish skin? I looked up at the tall cream beautiful exterior and glanced at my reflection in the clear large window. I looked as good as I could look after cycling non-stop in the heat. I wore lycra, with shorts that looked like nappies and had dirt all over my skin. I breathed in, and automatically felt relaxed as the smell of the sea breeze filled my body. Salt air is the best! I thought. For some reason the sea breeze always reminded me of my childhood. Mum would randomly surprise us if it was too hot and tell us we could go and have dinner at the beach, have a swim and get out of the hot house. The beach was always filled with fun and laughter. I smiled to myself thinking of fun times with my two sisters and brother. All of us healthy, happy and loving life. Ready, I thought walking into the restaurant.

I went straight to the bar in the restaurant, to ask for the owner to have a chat. ‘Here you go’ the waitress said. She had brown short hair, laughter lines and a big smile. She was in her late 30’s, lean and looked healthy. She seemed as if she loved life. ‘Well deserved and on the house.’ ‘Thank you so much, that’s so kind of you.’ I replied. I looked at the beautiful cold refreshing glass of champagne. ‘Anything for a girl like you cycling around Victoria’ she said loudly, in the most Australian tone I have heard. Other people deserve this more than me, I thought to myself as I turned to look for the owner. This was the 5^th town in which I had arrived where people were again so generous and supportive which was great, I just had heard stories from strangers about their loss or heroic efforts and felt I did not deserve this much kindness from people. This will make more sense to you later in the book. The drink was one of the many kind deeds.

Another lady started walking towards me with blonde short hair smiling. She came from the kitchen and welcomed me. ‘Hi, how can I help you’ she said smiling brightly. I could tell she was a hard worker from her chef’s outfit. The owner I assumed, she seemed very confident with her posture and eye contact and was so welcoming.  I told her that we had spoken on the phone and I had just cycled into the town on my journey. ‘Yes, I remember, it’s Grace isn’t it?’ we chatted and she then said ‘I will be back down in a second with a nice blue piece of material you can wear for your talk. ‘Thanks’ I laughed ‘I will do anything to make people laugh and get their attention for this issue.’ She walked away smiling and laughing.

I turned and walked through the large space of the beautiful restaurant and through the large French doors to the courtyard outside.  I gratefully sat down, and looked at the beautiful greenery surrounding me. I sipped the nice cool glass of champagne, relishing the sun and the wonderful moment by the seaside. The air smelt of salt, and although my bum was very sore, I felt so grateful for that moment. It was nice to finally be off that bike for a brief time.

 I was very relaxed when I looked over at a man next to me. He had lines on his skin which some people think show people’s age, but to be honest I think they show people’s journey. The wrinkles were around his mouth and the corners of his eyes which to me was from smiling and laughing. He did have some frown lines but they were not the most obvious ones. Trustworthy I assumed. His hair was grey and he looked as if he had lived. He had a slight belly but who doesn’t when they get older? He looked at me smiling and said ‘So why would a beautiful girl like yourself get on a bicycle on your own and cycle around the state of Victoria with just a backpack on?’ (At that stage my mother was not doing the support vehicle she had gone back to Melbourne and I was staying at my best friends families house so was pretty safe, but I was on my own for 1 day so it must have seemed strange to him.) I had not conducted my talk yet, which I did most nights in the towns and the journalist had not interviewed me yet so really he did not have any idea why I was doing it.

I am doing this do stop the stigma of something that I and many Australians are passionate about.’ I said. To be honest, I did not realise how big of an issue this was until I got on my bike. I thought to myself. ‘I am trying to change something that is unfair become fair, and I want to bring joy to people’s lives.’ I said. ‘It is really something I want to do for a great cause.’ I smiled sipping the champagne.

  This answer was something I would have to repeat a lot and I think the main response of me saying ‘because I wanted to for a great cause’ was hard for people to understand. Many people feel trapped in the routine of life including me. They feel trapped and think there is no time or no money to do anything. If this is you I encourage you to let that want to side of yourself do things. To be honest this journey was a huge deal for me, as a typical teacher I like routine. But I will always remember what someone once told me and feel free to highlight this for yourself to remember. When you are on your death bed, and old about to die, are you going to be happy with your life that you have led? What would you think you should have done? I want to think of what I did.

 “How old are you?” He asked. “27” I said. “Good on you.” Was his response and he smiled and looked away.

 Later that evening after my brief talk, he came up to me with tears in his eyes and said “thank you.” He handed me $50 which was minimal amount that people would hand me after my talks. I did not advertise donating and frankly did not want money from people. This issue was not about the money. ‘This will change something surely’ he said. I gratefully accepted as I knew he wanted to be helpful in a helpless situation. He then went on to tell me how he lost a very close family member due to the same issue in my talk and felt ashamed to talk about it.  I saw the intense emotional anguish or sadness in his eyes and now recognise grief in an instant. You really don’t know someone until you walk in their shoes I thought, earlier I saw a kind man who was laughing his grief away and choosing to see the good side of life. People like him are my hero’s. I told him ‘I am very sorry for your loss.’ He looked at me sadly and said ‘do you know what?’ I stared silently waiting for him to go on. ‘If I could go back in time, I would give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay. On this journey he was not the first person to say this.