My Dinosaur Era Chapter 10 *Rewrite*
By beanzie
- 92 reads
the door to the pub is closed
it’s already midday
I keep walking
never breaking stride
once more around the block
pretend to the world that I’m just out for a stroll
not waiting for a bar to open
round and round we go
checking my phone
screen blank
no one is trying to get hold of me today
I am untouched by the ether
usually such a blessing
this isolation
today though
my fingers fidget with the handset
clutching at it
longing to feel the vibration
around the block I go
I deviate down the front
the sea is frothy and giant today
the old pier
refusing to let go of the sea bed
appearing so fragile
yet so strong under the waves
victorian engineering still hanging on
by its big metal fingertips
it’s three past midday
I start to walk up the hill again
the convenience shop feels convenient
I drop in and grab a can of something awful
drink in one down an alley
relief and shame bubble together
back around by the pub door
now settled as ajar
inside, empty seats, clean toilets scent hits me
beer mats arranged sequentially on tables
waiting to be rearranged
by glass bottoms, urgent hands
alan behind the bar
baseball cap high on his head
sleeves rolled up like he means business today
he looks over at me as I approach the bar
alright mate
he smiles
I feel loved for the first time today
hello mate
I feel exhausted
sit on a stool at the bar
alan taps a beer pump
one of these I reckon
he knows me too well, pulls a pint
its head bubbles like the sea down the slope
he passes the glass over
you’re in early
I drink a quarter of the beer in one gulp
yeah, I got canned by work this morning, so I thought, why not?
oh shit man, that sucks
yeah, I mean, I did hate it but still, a job’s a job
fair, yeah, any idea what you’re gonna do now?
have a few beers and think about it another day I reckon
sounds like a decent plan to me
the taste of the beer in my mouth
mingling with the rancid shadow of the shop bought pop
I shudder, take another big gulp,
alan, gets back on his laptop
the stillness of the pub entrances me
last time I was here I winced
crowds pushed me to the edges of the bar
stood cramped in a corner with petula
having to hold drinks tight to our chests
seated heads bobbing below us
channels of chatter
a screeching laugh that cut through me
a small dog stared at me
give me some peace
we said to each other
al, wanna do a shot?
fucking hell mate, it’s quarter past twelve
yeah, fair enough
I didn’t say no
he picks up the sambuca bottle
places glasses in front of me
we drink together, deep breaths
head warm with the juice
I look deep into my phone on the bar
like it’s going to give me answers
it rings, petula’s name shining up at me
fumbling, I grab it, drop it on the bar, pick it up again
answer
hey
hey, sorry I missed your call earlier, I was at yoga and then I had a work meeting
her voice seems so close again, is she behind me
that’s ok
are you ok?
I want to tell her about losing my job
like its a badge of honour
then I realise that it is not
yeah, I was just calling to see if you wanted to do something today
hmm, maybe later? I’m having a filling later, so might not be up to much if I feel rubbish after
ah, ok
where are you now?
I’m in the hole, it’s a bit early, I know
no judgement here, I’m jealous
there’s a gap, I feel like I am going to fall into it
she speaks
look, shall we do something tomorrow instead? I’m free all day
sure, that would be nice
great, she says, call me tomorrow and we can work it out
we say our goodbyes
I finish my pint
alan slides over, another, yes please
so are you planning on getting on the beer all day?
well, that was the plan but everyone’s busy
who’s everyone?
ginny’s working and the other person I spoke to is um, busy
the other person, do they have a name or are you a fucking secret agent now?
petula, her name’s petula
fuck off, no one’s called petula
that’s what I said
is she the woman you were with the other night?
yeah
wow, she was gorgeous, where the fuck did you find her?
she’s a friend of ginny’s
oh, so is she mental too then?
too early to say
cool, cool, try not to fuck it up
yeah, I’ll try
I tail off, pick up my fresh pint
alan slides away once more
the door opens behind me
our stillness is gone
people cut through it
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