My Dinosaur Era Chapter 3 *Rewrite*

 

I did like jane

jane liked me

 

ginny took me straight around to her flat

off the seafront in Hove

another world from the places I usually end up

 

I thought

this is out of my league

I hope she doesn’t want rent

 

we waited for the door to be answered

I stifled all the questions in my head

ginny will sort it, ginny knows

 

jane opened the door that morning

a chewed up cardigan hanging from her slight frame

faded jeans, a long smile that almost touched the floor

they hugged in the doorway

a tender coupling

I thought jane might cry

so grateful she seemed at our presence

ginny put her hand on my arm

presented me to jane

 

I’ve brought you someone, this is timmy

 

ginny was the only person to ever call me timmy

even my mum abandoned that when I was a toddler

and then there were two

 

jane looked at me, held out her hand

 

hello timmy

 

I took jane’s hand

ginny, still holding my arm

holding me up

 

he has nowhere to live

 

jane looked concerned

her face saying

how can this happen in this day and age

 

oh dear, well there’s plenty of space here, three bedrooms though the smallest one is full of junk but you can sleep where you want

 

she carried on describing her flat, her life

how she had inherited the place from an aunty

 

so please don’t think I’m posh

 

but I kinda did

compared to anyone I knew

she was minor royalty

 

the kitchen was a mess of clean crockery

stacked up on most of the surfaces

as if they were about to be shipped somewhere

an expensive chrome coffee machine

sitting like a skyscraper, overlooking the ceramic park

 

jane took me to a bedroom

ginny held my hand as if it was my first day at school

jane, the kindly matron

me a man in his forties wondering what had happened 

for this to be his reality

 

a bedroom, huge and stark

a view out over rooftops to the sea

linen curtains swirling in the breeze from the balcony

 

ginny left, me and jane sat on the sofa

her long hair spilling over her face

eyes so intense I felt uneasy

I felt like she was continually searching

not me, the whole world

I just happened to be under her gaze

yet, all about her was serene

she smiled the whole time

brought me a cup of tea

two biscuits on the side

 

I think perhaps that you don’t have much money, timmy

 

she said this so gently that I started to cry

 

it’s ok, you can stay here, we can have a nice time

 

I nodded, wiping away tears

she stroked my face

as I bit into a custard cream

 

no one has ever been as kind to me

as Jane was in those first few days

she’d bring me snacks, endless teas

never coffee from the expensive machine

she’d sit with me whilst I watched the football on tv

her head on my shoulder

 

we slept apart

each in our own massive rooms

I’d hear her tiptoeing down the hall

at three in the morning

 

after a month

on a thursday evening

as we were sat half asleep on the sofa

she said

 

would you like to come to my room

 

I was startled

looked at her

checking with myself that I heard correctly

 

I just would like you to hold me and I to hold you, it seems silly not to, doesn’t it?

 

her face telling me that it was all going to be fine

 

we should be naked, but not sexy naked, just friendly naked, timmy

 

I woke in the morning with jane clasped to my chest

like a brooch

I rolled her slightly with my arm to get comfy

her face sliding across me, she spoke, so quietly

 

what was that, jane?

 

she lifted up her face

 

I said, would you like some tea?

 

how about coffee?

 

her face slumped back into my chest

 

what’s wrong

 

she looked back up at me, her smile dormant for a second

 

I’m silly

 

why?

 

I don’t know how to use the machine

 

I smiled down at her

 

ok then, shall we figure it out together

 

she sat straight up, her fantastic smile once again lighting us both up

 

yes, please, thank you

 

jumping up from under the covers I saw her naked body for the first time

she looked like she had been moulded from a bar of imperial leather soap

rolled out on a bench to produce this slender, creamy figure

I realised that it was the first time I had seen her without jeans on

I followed her into the kitchen

unclothed also

we spent twenty minutes

pressing buttons

burning our fingers in steam

almost weeping with the hilarity of it all

 

we stayed naked all that day

drinking coffee, devouring biscuits of every variety

sometimes talking, sometimes quiet

there were never any questions of gravity

we just existed together

our pasts and futures were vacant spaces

 

jane made us spaghetti bolognese

we dripped sauce on our chests

we knew nothing of each other that wasn’t already there

 

after three months we were still just like this

though we dressed on occasions

walked by the sea hand in hand

pointed at things that we could see

such glee hidden within the mundane

 

she slowed

I could feel it

her smile never wavered but her body sometimes refused to follow

her leaps from bed shallow

sometimes not even a leap at all

she stayed in bed

scrunching the duvet up and almost into her

 

are you ok?

 

oh yes, timmy, I am just fine

 

do you like me being here?

 

oh timmy, of course I do, why on earth would you think otherwise?

 

you seem different

 

yes, I may be a bit under the weather

 

would you like a biscuit?

 

after five months, I was summoned by ginny

she sat me on the sofa

handed me a gin and tonic with a decaying piece of lemon in it

I hadn’t been drinking much with jane

she said she didn’t like the taste

 

ginny looked at me without really looking at me

 

timmy, you have to marry jane

 

why do I have to marry jane?

 

because she wants to get married, that’s why

 

this is silly, ginny, why are you saying this?

 

because she is going to die soon, that’s why, timmy

 

why is she going to die?

 

because she is full of cancer and it’s too late to do anything

 

why didn’t she tell me?

 

how could she tell you?

 

I drank the gin and tonic in one go

 

ok, then I will marry her

 

good, I knew you would understand