My Dinosaur Era Chapter 48

 

five thirty on a monday morning

the streets empty

sunrise blocked by the buildings along western road

somewhere, down there over the sea

a red glow is lifting itself over the horizon

the twenty four hour shop is

as ever

open for business

I go to step through the no door, door

notice a man, crumpled into a ball

in the next doorway

sleeping bag twisted around his lower half

his whole form folded in on itself

I reach out to him, touch his shoulder

his head lolls to one side, eyes closed

hey, are you ok man, I say

eyes open, he sits up straighter

I hadn’t seen my sister for two years until yesterday, he says

oh, right, I say

all she gave me was a fiver, he says

I don’t have any cash on me mate, I say

I didn’t ask you for money, I was telling you about my sister, he says

yeah, sorry, I say

she let me stroke her dog, that was nice, he says

I look at his face, he’s young, maybe late twenties

can I get you something in the shop, I say

yes please, he says

what would you like, I say

I really don’t know, he says

his eyes close again, he starts to slump

I mean, like food, a drink, I say

no reply, he puts his hands over the back of his head

I go inside the shop

do a supermarket sweep

discomfort pervades me

grab at coffee, biscuits in lieu of pastries

a chicken salad sandwich, a tube of pringles

at the counter

two half bottles of brandy

outside, he’s still in the same position

hey, I say

his head jerks upwards, way more awake now

I got you some stuff, I say

I hand him the sandwich and the pringles

he takes them loosely in one hand

do you want some drink, like booze, I mean, I say

he nods, I hand him one of the bottles of brandy

he takes this, grips it tighter, looks at me

for the first time

I am not ashamed, he says

no, ok, no, you shouldn’t be, I say

I stumble over my words

ok, well, see ya, I say

it feels inadequate as goodbyes go

he lifts a hand from his lap

a gentle wave that seems to last for an age

 

I walk around the corner, into the square

there’s a small park, I sit on a bench

take a drink from the bottle

a glimpse of sun squints from behind a tower block

I look at the biscuits in my hand

bourbons

everyone loves a bourbon

 

back at ginny’s

petula is sat on the sofa

dressed now, tracksuit bottoms

grey hoodie that engulfs her

legs crossed under her

that hoodie is huge, I say

yeah, I ordered the wrong size but decided I liked it, and no you cannot borrow it, she says

I have hoodies of my own, thanks,  well not here, at my place, I say

do you know, I had kinda forgot that this isn't your place, I don’t really have a firm anchor of where you live, it’s somewhere I have just visited briefly, like a figment that exists in my head, she says

yeah, I’ll need to do some washing, I have nothing clean, I say

I want to wash everything I brought with me, she says

we should probably do that at my place, seems unfair to use ginny’s water and power, I say

sure, ok, a day of domesticity beckons, she says

the kettle clicks, I cut open the coffee packet

did you buy brandy, she says

I pick up the bottle from the counter

yeah, looks that way, I do like a brandy coffee, I say

I mean, who doesn’t, she says

you want, I say

absolutely, today we shall drink and we shall wash ourselves clean, well our clothes at least, she says

sounds like my kinda day, I say

 

we sit with our coffees

I wonder what ginny and the witch are doing, she says

are you going to call her the witch to her face, I say

hmm, I might, I’m not as scared of her as you are, she says

she is a benign witch, I say

can I tell you something, she says

sure, I say

on that first night in bilbao, when I stayed with her, we slept together naked in her bed, just held each other, like we did last night, she says

was it nice, I say

yeah, it was very nice, you don’t think it’s weird or anything, she says

no, me and ginny did the same in bilbao, I say

but you’ve known her for ages, she says

but we have never done that, not even close, I say

was it nice, she says

yeah, it was very nice, do you think it’s weird or anything, I say

she drinks some coffee

there is a feeling that feels like jealousy I suppose, she says

perhaps we both needed that feeling, on that night, I say

everything is confusing but I like it, she says

we finish our drinks

oh fuck, I forgot, I got biscuits, I say

not pastries, she says

not at five thirty from the all night shop, no, I say

save the biscuits for later, she says

I need to wash, I smell gross, I say

can we shower together, she says

of course we can, I say

I’ve never showered with someone before, she says

seriously, I say

I have led a very sheltered life, timmy, you need to be help me navigate my way through reality, she says

well, I’ll try, I say