Innocence

Really enjoyed this Beeme, the middle part especially, but the whole thing is intriguing with a satisfying darkness.

It's certainly powerful stuff - very effective and a pleasingly spare style. I think some of the full stops could be removed as they seem to be in the midst of sentences, but it's a minor point. Also, did you know that if you put before a bit of text and afterwards in your writing window then it turns the viewable text into italics? It's quite good for quotes at the beginning of pieces. Rob

That ending is chilling, Beeme - but I love it! Well done :) And Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Magic xxx

Bother - my advice was too successful and italicised itself. It's < then em then > before, then < then / then em then > afterwards (ignoring the 'thens' if that makes any sense at all...)

You need to put the < then / then em then > bit at the end of the bit you want in italics Rob

Really fantastic poem, but the punctuation ruins it because it doesn't make sense. You need to punctuate poetry as if it were prose - it follows the same rules. Try: When I was a pink-fleshed baby, I was speechless, unable to hurt you. My words were light, bright- unattached to life; alone, they could do no harm. Only as poems addressed to you do they cause injury, as you try to read hidden meanings between the lines, although there are none. Everything I write in black and white is printed proof in front of your eyes. Undeniable. If there was any place which you could forget the broken pulsations of your heart, and discard the sorrow from your eyes whilst you read, you'd shrink into that aimless embryo of a man, lie once again in the womb of your mother, and forget that I ever existed. J x

In that case, may I recommend a book to help you? 'Eats, shoots and leaves' by Lynne Truss: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Lynne-Truss/dp/0007329067/ref... J x