Greetin Card Writer

I sent me off one of those there advertizement
thingys for learning to be a greetin
card writer. They said I could do it
through correspondence courses,
in ten easy lessons,
and it only cost me a hundred bucks.

Everybody round here just loves
my poems and thinks they are just the
top of the totem pole.
Like my little verse of love called Hound Dog.
I'll show ya all what I mean.

"Even though your breath smells a lot like my hound dog,
you still take the breath right out me.
Your eyes are like one of those lizards
who are always changing colors.
They remind me of Finnegan's rainbow."

Have ya ever heard such words?
I was just sure as all get out that
I would make my mark in this world,
writing those little touching
things for greetin card companies.

I always did like to make up poems,
and although not too good in math, I could write.
As my Daddy said, my brother got the brains,
but I gots all the looks.
My brother Buddy Boy,
done gone and got his self a
College Degree,
Hell's patooty, I just barely made it
out of 8th grade.

Anyways, I gots back a rejection letter,
from the writing course.
They said I just didn't have the
right grammar to fulfill their needs.
I am telling you right now my Grammar
has pure blood lines all the way
back to Jefferson Davis.
I really think I used words
that were just too hard for
those simple minded folks to
understand.

So, I guess I will just try out for
The Cotton Queen contest,
twirl my baton and high step
reading one of my poem out loud.
I bet that will knock the judges socks right off.
If I win this here contest
I bet Hallmark will offer me big bucks
to work for them, I would be a feather in
their cap for sure.

My Brother is coming home for the contest,
he hasn't been back here for years,
he could have been anything,
but he decided to be a writer, just like me,
I think he is a copy catter,
but Mama said it was just
sibling rivalry raising it's
ugly head. My Mama is
the smartest of us all.

Bobbie Kilzer Gogain