An Evening Stroll

When I was walking through a wood,
I shit myself. I knew I would.
I cried for help but no help came,
and so I shit myself again.

I shit myself. I knew I would.
It was a fairly scary wood.
The buzzards circled overhead,
And filled my soul (and pants) with dread.

I cried for help but no help came.
I retraced my steps back again.
It wasn't easy turning back,
because my legs were caked with kak.

And so I shit myself again.
A whole day's walking, down the drain.
How could I face my friends in town,
When trousers blue were stained with brown?