Addiction

I feel you in my blood, you're a drug but your effect is wearing off
and I see you for what you are-an intoxicating poison.I'm now coming
down, what I want is another shot but what I need is to come clean.
Coming clean is never impossible but I try to fool myself into thinking
it is-all because I am weak and cannot tolerate the feeling of 'cold
turkey'. But then I've always been weak when it comes to you have'nt I?
That is a rhetorical question, Julie, please do not answer that-we both
know the answer therefore it does'nt require an answer.
Dark bruises stain my skin, I abuse myself-but I like to blame you-I
LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU!More than anyone can ever imagine. I
can feel you all around me even when you're not there. You're on my
mind 24/7-what you are doing is left to my imagination. There are so
many things you could be doing but only one person you can be with. But
it is'nt me, Julie, why is'nt it me?
They all tell me, "Shes not worth losing sleep over." "She'll regret it
when she sees you with someone else,She chose him over you, she'll have
to live with that." They like to remind me of him, they like to remind
me of you, just to see my facade fall, to see how within just a minute
I can change from the hyperactive, bubbly girl who everyone either
loves or hates (usually hates!!), to a crying shattered wreck. From one
extreme to the other within just a minute. That's what drugs do to you,
change you. Love does that too-But perhaps drugs cause less pain. I
will just have to tolerate my addiction.