Why I Don't Party On New Year's Eve

I’ve had times in my life in which I’ve had a pretty solid reputation as a party animal. I’m sure there are some people who still think I’m that person. I’m not proud of it or anything, but I’m also not ashamed of it. I’m proud of who I am today, and everything I’ve done is a part of who I am, so there is no reason for shame. Regret is another story. I can be proud of who I am but regretful that it had to happen that way. Regret teaches us the most. It doesn’t pierce you like hate or sadness, it weighs on you like a rock that gets heavier and heavier with time. 

I got off track.

Having the reputation of a partier, you’d think one of my favorite nights of the year would be New Year’s Eve, right? Wrong. I have honestly never partied or been wasted on New Year’s Eve. Last year I was in Chicago (tipsy), and years before that were usually spent downtown (sober) or at the casino (sober). I never really noticed my reluctance to get trashed on New Year’s Eve with everyone until the last few years. It wasn’t usually a conscious decision. When I was younger and had to spend New Year’s Eve with my parents, I remember thinking how bad ass it would be to be drunk out of my mind and just acting absolutely silly (we get real silly sometimes). Yet here it is, 6:30 p.m. on the evening that was literally created so that the majority of the world could get slizzard together, and I’m completely sober. That may seem normal to some of you, but when I have an evening to celebrate (like a Friday or Saturday), I usually have myself a glass of something by now. 

My reluctance to get drunk on New Year’s Eve is, of course, due in part to the increased police force and drunk drivers. 

A) I don’t want to be arrested for drinking and driving.

B) I don’t want to to be killed due to someone else drinking and driving.

The amount of fatalities that will occur tonight due to poor decisions is absolutely tragic.

But, honestly, that’s not even the main reason I have a tame New Year’s Eve. More than anything, it’s a superstition. For some reason, I don’t like the idea of ringing in the new year wasted out of my mind. I’m a bit of a drama queen. That queeniness kind of reflects itself in how I feel about the new year. New Year’s Day is the one day of the year that I feel I am truly looking FORWARD. I’m a pretty goal-oriented person, so New Years Day is like goal-oriented Brandon on crack. It’s a threshold! And I guess my mind sees that threshold as midnight tonight, after we all countdown. That feeling every year after the countdown - it’s like, for a brief moment, everything is ahead of me. The weight of those regrets is lifted and all that’s left is innocence again.

"This is my year," will be Tweeted 293487 times tonight. 

Anyway, I just don’t like the idea of being incoherent at that moment. It’s my favorite moment of the year - I want to fucking feel it.