Amazing Dog in River Drama

You be hard pushed to say
whether Minto was more amazing
before or after the incident.
Whether dragging to the surface
of a murky little ecosystem
a child, its asthma medication
and a long-lost Roman artifact
cleaned to a high shine by dun weeds
with certain properties,
was enough to gain him
the accolade "amazing".

Or whether the headline referred
instead to Minto's brief stint
as the Champion Bread dog,
to his popular adverts
a couple years back;
his flaming hoop clearing,
his role as magician's assistant -
the slogan: "it's wizard stuff!" -
obscuring his wag.
It could be that the journalist,
in frenzy, did little research,
omitted the online articles
and well-lit, tongue-filled photos
bordered with promotional sandwiches.

No double checks even made
that Minto had not just been
swimming dumbly, pissing
good-naturedly in the river,
when a tiny sleeve
snagged on his collar.